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We don't let the facts don't get in the way! A ForbistheMighty.com production



Check out the FEATURE ARCHIVES!!!

  • My Name is Mud 06/01/17
    By John Saleeby
    Saleeby has only now discovered Primus and The Melvins, two bands who have blown minds for decades. But don't sweat it... he's been into The Darkness for forever.


  • Can We Automate Our Way to Affordable Medicine? 06/01/17
    By Wil Forbis
    If we could create an AI doctor, we could duplicate it a thousand times with a push of a button. Would that drive down the cost of medical care?


  • I Guess Ace Frehley Was Busy 03/01/17
    By John Saleeby
    Numerous big name guitar heroes are throwing together a tribute to Jimi Hendrix. Can the Hendrix legacy survive?


  • Whoop-Dee-Fuckin-Doo: All About Cursing 02/01/17
    By Brian Bosen
    What role do swear words play in society? And do they do more good than harm?


  • All Work And No Play Is Still Better Than Coldplay 02/01/17
    By John Saleeby
    Saleeby is so overworked that he's starting to question the very nature of reality.


  • Was Scott Adams Right About Trump 12/01/16
    Cartoonist and trained hypnotist Scott Adams predicted the rise of Trump back when the real estate mogul was considered a joke. Does Adams now deserve a victory lap?

  • Has Portlandia Sold Out? 11/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen's show has earned a place in the pantheon of great sketch comedies. But has it turned its back on its punk rock roots?


  • Can a Computer Write a Hit Song? 10/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    Computers have been composing classical and experimental music for years. But do they have what it takes to create the sugary sweet and infectious tunes that climb up the pop charts?


  • Kurt Vonnegut's Storytelling Shapes in Art, Pt. 2 09/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    Vonnegut's simple shapes can map out the trajectory of novels, music and visual art works. But will any shape do? And what determines their design?


  • Kurt Vonnegut's Storytelling Shapes in Art, Pt. 1 08/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    Years ago, author Kurt Vonnegut argued that a few shapes could describe the dramatic arc of all stories. Can such shapes provide insights into all art forms?


  • Donald Trump, Pickup Artist? 07/01/16
    Donald Trump has had a remarkable and unpredicted rise in American politics. Is he seducing voters the way Lothario lured lovers?


  • Murderin’ MILFs Of Lifetime 06/01/16
    By John Saleeby
    The Lifetime channel is a hotbed of sexy, middle-aged women stewing in their own obsolescence. Will their husbands' philandering with teenage babysitters finally drive them over the edge?


  • Are You a Hive Mind? 05/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    We presume ourselves to be autonomous entities who determine our own fates. But are influences found both deep in our minds and in the external world exacting their control on us?


  • Walt Disney Was A Good Guy And You're Just A Bunch Of Punks 04/01/16
    By John Saleeby
    How the tides have turned against the entertainment mogul of yesteryear. John defends Disney from the modern assault put forth by the acolytes of Avery and Jones.


  • Destination: Synthwave Horror 03/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    During the 1980s, horror and sci-fi flicks featured creepy, electronic music driven by ethereal synths and plodding bass lines. 30 years later this music is having a comeback.


  • Came Out Of Nowhere, Guess I’ll Go Back 02/01/16
    By John Saleeby
    With Lemmy gone, can rock and roll survive? Saleeby gives Motorhead's front man the comedic send-off he deserves.


  • Our Wacky Brain: The Trolley Problem and Other Thought Experiments 02/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    In the field of psychology there are numerous thought experiments that test man's capacity for moral reasoning. Are we rational agents or puppets swayed by the whims of emotion?


  • Gibraltar? I Hardly Knew Her! 01/01/16
    By Wil Forbis
    As a European tourist destination, Gibraltar has stiff competition. But a casual walk through the monkey-laden locale reveals hidden charms.


  • Creeps of the Deep 07/01/15
    By John Saleeby
    Who are these strange hideous creatures that live at the bottom of the ocean? And why are they reading Catch-22? Saleeby investigates.


  • What is Pain? 07/01/15
    By Wil Forbis
    For centuries man has conceived of the experience of pain as a simple warning system for the body. But is pain more mysterious than that? And can it be defeated?


  • More Movies You Can Watch on Youtube RIGHT NOW! 06/01/15
    By John Saleeby
    John digs up still more free online movies including a Abel Ferrara classic, a tribute to naked island virgins and a Dennis Hopper biker flick. Enjoy with best wishes from acid logic!


  • Mind Uploading for Dummies 06/01/15
    By Wil Forbis
    A new episode in the acid logic series on the brain has arrived. Can a human mind be uploaded into a computer and live forever? And what is a mind anyway?


  • Acid Comics: Deena pt. II 05/01/15
    By Wil Forbis
    The short tempered she-warrior of sword and sorcery returns in this eight page epic. Can Deena defend the last members of a doomed species?


  • What are Farts? 04/01/15
    By Wil Forbis
    Farts are an experience shared by all of mankind and yet they are shrouded in a brown fog of secrecy. Let's peek through the mysterious mists and find out what makes farts work.


  • Hot Rods To Mohawks - The Evolution Of The Apocalyptic Barbarian In Modern Cinema 03/01/15
    By John Saleeby
    Post-apocalypse films since the 60s have featured hordes of ill tempered maniacs attempting to crush humanity. What drives them to evil?


  • Western Civilization: What's in it For Me?! 02/01/15
    By John Saleeby
    Charlie Hebdo is attacked by terrorists? Why don't people focus on what's really important: Saleeby's car troubles!


  • “I GOT SMOKE IN MY EYES!!!” John Saleeby Looks At Barbecue! 12/01/14
    By John Saleeby
    Has the time come that the difficult and controversial topic of barbeque must be brought up in these storied pages? Indeed it has!


  • Acid Comics: Deena 11/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    Feast your eyeballs on the first ever acid logic comic! Short tempered female fighter Deena subverts the classic sword and sorcery tale.


  • The Comic Art of Wil Forbis 10/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    Enjoy this video slideshow of comic book artwork and groovy, electronic music.



  • An Open Letter To The Entire Rest Of The Country (and also the planet), re: Buffalo Bills Fans 09/01/14
    By Tom Waters
    Tom Waters returns to make the point that his hometown possesses more than just feeble minded sports fanatics. (Buffalo wings anyone?)


  • What is Music Saying? 09/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    Music may be the most ethereal of the art forms but it's capable of making concrete philosophcal statements.


  • R.E.M. Versus The Replacements 08/01/14
    By John Saleeby
    It's a showdown between 80s hipster indie rockers. Can R.E.M. take the Mats to the mat?


  • John Saleeby Buys The 'Workaholics' Season 3 DVD 07/01/14
    By John Saleeby
    John trains his finely honed comedy critiquing skills on a new sitcom about crazy dudes working and partying hard. Will Paulie Shore be amused?


  • What is the Soul? 07/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    The Acid Logic "Our Wacky Brain" series attempts to determine whether ideas born out of psychology and neuroscience can answer one of most vexing questions faced by man.


  • Amazing Rejection Letters 06/01/14
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Fearful of writing a personal rejection letter to your lover/tenant/customer/employee? Johnny serves up a series of sample letters that can be used as templates. Now heaping derision and disdain on your fellow humans couldn't be easier!


  • It's All A Buncha Crap! 05/01/14
    By John Saleeby
    KISS is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame at the same time as Nirvana. What does this tell us about the sorry state of modern culture?


  • I Wish I Remembered Robot Jox 04/01/14
    By Johhny Apocalypse
    Johnny tries his hardest to recall an obscure 1980s Stuart Gordon 'fighting robots' film but ends up slagging off the new Robocop movie instead.


  • Rise of the Machines: A Look at Robot-Rock 04/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    In the post hippie era, several bands appeared and pursued an aesthetic entirely at odds with the moment. Read up on Devo, Kraftwerk, the Buggles and others. Music videos included.


  • "You Say It's Your Birthday" 03/01/14
    By John Saleeby
    You think it's hard having a birthday near Christmas? Try being born on the day the Beatles first appeared on Ed Sullivan!


  • Heretical Ideas Whose Time Has Come Pt. II 03/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    Thus arrives the second part of the article that has shaken all intelligent life in the known universe to the core. Not for the faint of heart.


  • Heretical Ideas Whose Time Has Come Part I 02/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    Can we now consider several notions that have heretofore been off the table? In this first part of a two-part article, the ambiguous nature of morality and authorship are considered.


  • My Beef with the News 01/01/14
    By Wil Forbis
    As recommended activities go, reading the news is right up there with eating your vegetables. But is the modern news media doing more harm than good?


  • The Greatest Dream of All Time 01/01/14
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny struggles to make his dream of aeronautical adventure become a reality. Why is it so damn hard to steal a plane?


  • The Dead can BLOW ME!!! 12/01/13
    By Johh Saleeby
    Jimi Hendrix, Mark Twain, Jack Lemmon... How come the only way to get love and respect around here is to be dead?


  • Just Say No to the Noosphere 12/01/13
    By Wil Forbis
    Author Michael Chorost has repopularized the noosphere, a conceptual framework in which humanity could be joined at the brain. But will it all be fun and games?


  • Seven Movies You Can Watch on Youtube RIGHT NOW! 11/01/13
    By Johh Saleeby and Wil Forbis
    From "The Driller Killer" to "Xtro," "Panic in the Year Zero" to "Sleepaway Camp," the acid logic team excavates some hidden youtube treasures.


  • Various Open Letters 11/01/13
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    While he concedes the form's limited impact, Johnny is determined to use the open letter to make his thoughts known. But will the world listen?


  • The Square Root of Rock and Roll Part 2 11/01/13
    By Wil Forbis
    Technology which enabled music recording, broadcasting and distribution was integral to the success of Rock in the latter half of the 20th century.


  • Why Isn’t “Evil” a Diagnosis? 10/01/13
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny contemplates why we can't diagnose human dysfunction with a term that has less than eight syllables. Then he analyzes two of society's greatest villains: The Joker and Frank from Blue Velvet!


  • The Square Root of Rock and Roll: How science, technology and nerds generated the 20th Century's most subversive art form (Part 1) 10/01/13
    By Wil Forbis
    Elvis, the Beatles and Hendrix get all the credit for the Rock revolution. But what about the scientists and technologists who created the sound of the music?


  • Why Sharknado was Better than World War Z 09/01/13
    By Wil Forbis
    This past summer, two very different monster movies made waves. Which one holds the key to the future of film?

  • Nessie And Bigfoot: I'll Care When I'm Scared 09/01/13
    By Johh Saleeby
    What is it with supposedly real monsters like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster? Why don't they inspire fear in our hearts?


  • Why Tokyo? 09/01/13
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Godzilla, famed reptilian monster of movie lore, always reserves his anger for the beleaguered town of Tokyo. Johhny explores the creature's reasons.

  • Big Star Versus Cheap Trick 08/01/13
    By Johh Saleeby
    The twin pillers of 70s power pop go head to head. Will Alex Chilton's deft songwriting outsmart Rick Nielson's melodic guitar riffs?


  • The Arts Will Save Us 08/01/13
    By Seana Sperling
    Seana contemplates arts around the world and what they provide.


  • The Strange Case of Bob Brozman 08/01/13
    By Wil Forbis
    When jazz/world music guitarist Bob Brozman died in April 2013 his reputation as a genius seemed beyond reproach. Then something terrible happened.


  • What is Art? 07/01/13
    By Wil Forbis

    The creation and consumption of art has long been thought to involve mysterious processes that would never fall into the realm of scientific investigation. But can these artistic processes be understood by psychology and neuroscience?


  • Don't Panic but Robots are Taking Your Jobs 06/01/13
    By Wil Forbis

    Science fiction has long prophesized a day when robots and computers will compete with humans for a variety of jobs---jobs requiring both muscle and intellect. Has that day finally arrived?

  • "You Punks And Your Damn Tig Notaro!" - 1950s Comedians Explained To All Youse Alt-Comedy Wise Asses 06/01/13
    By John Saleeby
    John defends Jerry Lewis, Jackie Gleason and Milton Berle from a new generation of critics who worship at the altar of Jon Stewart and Patton Oswalt. One of these days, Alice!

  • Review: Iron Man 3 / Iron Man- Extremis 06/01/13
    By Johnny Apocalypse

    Johnny comments on the recent installment in the Iron Man movie franchise and the comic book that provided a wellspring of inspiration.

  • Beer Versus Coffee 05/01/13
    By John Saleeby
    Which beverage is the greatest? Can the oozing flow of a good brewski overwhelm the anxiety inducing magma that is Lord Java? Saleeby investigates.


  • A Defense of Michelle Shocked 04/01/13
    By Wil Forbis

    Indie folk singer Michelle Shocked earned almost universal acrimony for a March 17 performance during which she seemed to condemn homosexuality. Is there more to the story than meets the ear?


  • Where are the Nic-Fits? 03/01/13
    By Johnny Apocalypse

    Johnny debates the pros and cons of tobacco and contemplates why, for once, his nicotine withdrawal has been painless.


  • Unknown Spaghetti Westerns - Guaranteed 100% Clint Eastwood Free!!! 03/01/13
    By John Saleeby
    In the 1960s, Italy finally asserted its dominance over America by unleashing a torrent of violent cowboy cinema. Meet and greet some of these lesser known works featuring the talents of Lucio Fulci, John Saxon and... Ringo Starr?



  • "That Obama Show" 02/01/13
    By John Saleeby
    John unearths a secret script casting a youthful Barack Obama as the marijuana puffing exchange student in "That 70s Show." Tommy Chong blows his stack.


  • Take Shelter Blake Shelton! 02/01/13
    By Wil Forbis

    Country singer Blake Shelton recently put his cowboy boot in his mouth while insulting fans of traditional country. But did his words contain a grain of truth?


  • The Flying Spaghetti Monster Will Save Us All 02/01/13
    By Johnny Apocalypse

    Johnny explores the strange force field which seems to separate religion from humor. You can let him know what you think of it... WHEN YOU SEE HIM IN HELL!


  • Martin And Lewis Are Funnier Than EVERYBODY!!! 01/01/13
    By John Saleeby
    It's the duke out of the comedy duos as Saleeby contemplates the battle between Martin and Lewis (stars of The Colgate Comedy Hour) and Nichols and May.


  • U R Not Unique 01/01/13
    By Wil Forbis

    We live in a world of 7,000,000,000+ people, many armed with blogs, twitter accounts and Facebook pages. Has the struggle to define oneself as an individual become an impossibility?


  • Music and Sound 12/01/12
    By Wil Forbis

    Music must be comprised of sound, but can all sound be music? Were the first sweet notes of melody sung not by human voices but the animal world? Was rock 'n roll a direct response to mankind's industrialization? Come, let's explore these questions together.


  • Ratt vs. Springsteen 12/01/12
    By John Saleeby
    It's west versus east as John pits the hard rock maestros of the spandex 80s against the searching, soulful songwriter born of the 70s. Plus, why isn't Steven Van Zandt in Lynyrd Skynyrd?


  • I Don't HAVE to do Shit! 12/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny makes the point that few things in life are really mandatory. And why does everyone think he's a Trekkie?


  • The Death of Counterculture 11/01/12
    By Wil Forbis

    Has the American counterculture --- represented by the hippies of the 1960s and punks of the 1970s --- met its doom?


  • How a Politician Can Get Re-Elected For Life 11/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Never eager to tackle politics, Johnny Apocalypse passes on the secret to political longevity. But will professional politicians be willing to take his controversial advice?


  • "Wow! That Was Funny, Man!" A Look at Hippie Comedy 11/01/12
    By John Saleeby
    John takes a look at the work of George Carlin, Cheech and Chong, and San Francisco's improv group The Committee and asks why hippie comedians can't all just get along?


  • The Ethics of Judge Dredd 10/01/12
    By Wil Forbis

    The new film 'Dredd' captures the grim, gritty world of British comic character Judge Dredd and prompts ruminations on how much a society should be willing to sacrifice to uphold the law.


  • Ten Pictures of Thandie Newton 10/01/12
    By John Saleeby
    In a brilliant and thought-provoking piece of found imagery, John contemplates man and his place in the universe.


  • How a Politician Can Get Re-Elected For Life 10/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Never eager to tackle politics, Johnny Apocalypse passes on the secret to political longevity. But will professional politicians be willing to take his controversial advice?


  • It's Time To Go To SLEEP!!! 09/01/12
    By John Saleeby
    After shifting his sleep schedule around, John discovers that there's a whole new world out there!


  • Philosophy of Language: We Have No Idea What We’re Talking About! 09/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny goes head-to-head with philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein while trying to determine what words mean. That is, the meaning behind the meaning. Seriously.

  • Johnny's Worst Movies of All Time 08/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    "Johnny bemoans movies that lack plot, acting, believable screenwriting, sound and violence.


  • Bro Support: the Advice Column That Puts Bros before Hos 08/01/12
    By Wil Forbis

    Tired of chicks always getting the sympathetic ear? Acid Logic offers a new advice column that recognizes that, deep down, dudes are pretty sensitive.


  • “The Incredible Hulk”, from Comics to Film 07/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    The Incredible Hulk his made his way to the big screen more times than most Marvel superheroes. Johnny wonders whether we will ever get an adaptation true to the comic book.


  • Multi-dimensional Scrabble 06/01/12
    By Wil Forbis
    The acid logic science team investigates the possibility of expanding the Scrabble game across multiple dimensions. Can you spell in 4D? (If not, you're a loser.)


  • Dark Truths: Science in the Era of H.P. Lovecraft Part 2 05/01/12
    By Wil Forbis
    How did the science of H.P. Lovecraft's era, particularly astronomy and cosmology, affect his writings?


  • Six Awesome Songs You Haven’t Heard 05/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny argues that some of hard rock's best tunes might have escaped your radar. He mines the work of AC/DC, Jethro Tull and others for hidden gems.


  • Dark Truths: Science in the Era of H.P. Lovecraft 04/01/12
    By Wil Forbis
    Pulp author H.P. Lovecraft penned stories of cosmic entities sowing evil and mortal men damned by their DNA. How did the science of his era affect his writings?


  • Herschell Gordon Lewis: Master Of More Than Gore 04/01/12
    By John Saleeby
    Humorist John Saleeby looks for the grand unifying vision in two underappreciated works by the original auteur of severed heads and spurting viscera.


  • Living in a Musical 04/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Why can't you walk into a room, burst into song and find yourself joined in harmony by everyone around you? And why is Johnny stalking Chris Isaak?


  • "Godzilla" Versus "Godzilla, King Of The Monsters" 03/01/12
    By John Saleeby
    Erudite cinephiles are doubtless aware that the classic Raymond Burr vehicle "Godzilla, King of the Monsters," was produced by splicing newer English-language footage into an older Japanese monster film. Which one is the true Godzilla? Saleeby investigates.


  • Four Films Set in Hawaii 03/01/12
    By Wil Forbis
    Inspired by the success of The Descendents, a former inhabitant of Honolulu takes a look at several Hollywood films set in the island locale. Do they capture the 'real' Hawaii?


  • The Greatest Word in the English Language 02/01/12
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    During one of his frequent excursions through Wikipedia, Johnny Apocalypse discovers the mother of all English words. And it's not "snaggletooth."


  • "Dawn Of The Dead" Versus "Zombi" 02/01/12
    By John Saleeby
    In the 1970s, Italian horromeister Dario Argento offered up Zombi, a recut version of George Romero's classic Dawn of the Dead. Saleeby compares the two versions in all their head slicing, flesh chomping glory.


  • More Literature in the Style of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" 02/01/12
    By Wil Forbis
    The best selling mashup novel mixed existing literature with scenes of zombie mayhem. A new series of books takes the concept to the next logical level.


  • "What The Hell, I'll Direct The God Damn Movie!" 12/01/11
    By John Saleeby
    While committing to take the reins for the rudderless "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" movie, Saleeby contemplates modern pop culture.


  • Apocalypse on Christmas: the Snowmen of Doom 12/01/11
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    It's a Christmastime tradition! Johnny Apocalypse offers another poetic pontification on everything Christmas is about: violence, destruction and death.


  • The Essentials of Essentialism
    By Johnny Apocalypse 11/01/11
    Having trouble telling when a kitten becomes a cat? Not sure when a hill turns into a mountain? Johnny Apocalypse contemplates the essential properties of any object.


  • Fuck Zombies 10/01/11
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Humorist Johnny Apocalypse is so sick of zombies that if he sees another decaying hand ripping a living human heart out of a person's chest, he's going to barf.
  • "Birdie Num Num! Ha Ha! I said 'Birdie Num Num'!"
    By John Saleeby 09/01/11
    Saleeby ruminates on the career of British rock singer Glenn Hughes. And Virginia Madsen. And Foghorn Leghorn. And Alex Chilton. And Napoleon.


  • What the Hell is Outside the Universe?
    By Johnny Apocalypse 09/01/11
    Johnny finds his brain bedazzled by notions of space beyond infinity. He is forced to to turn to the source of explanations of all unknowable mysteries: Yahoo Answers!


  • Random Thoughts from a Plane to Alaska 08/01/11
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny experiments with free association writing, leading to profound observations about the buttocks of a nearby stewardess. And some other stuff.


  • Review: Isoball 06/01/11
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Online videogame fanatic Apocalypse takes a look at the virtual construction game Isoball.


  • The Anxiety Diet 06/01/11
    By Dr. Wil Forbis*
    Looking for a way to shed some pounds? Find out how to worry your weight away!
    * Not actually a doctor.


  • Our Wacky Brain: What is Creativity? 05/01/11
    By Wil Forbis
    Acid Logic examines the ethereal concept of creativity, looking both at its implementation in the brain and the practices of famous creators such as Brahms and Picasso.


  • Let’s Stop Reproducing! 05/01/11
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Kids --- they're charming little buggers once you get past the incessant screaming, crying, vomiting, pooping and kicking. Johnny contemplates a home vasectomy.


  • Let’s End the World! 03/01/11
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Short of a few highlights like coffee, Fettuccine Alfredo and The Exorcist III, Johnny Apocalypse finds the modern world sorely lacking. He proposes several ways of amending the situation.


  • Our Wacky Brain: Making Sense of the Senses Part 2 03/01/11
    By Wil Forbis
    The acid logic exploration of the labyrinthine brain continues. Our sensory organs provide multiple views of outside world. How does the brain unify this into a singular experience?


  • Our Wacky Brain: Making Sense of the Senses Part 1 02/01/11
    By Wil Forbis
    Continuing the official acid logic look at the weird and wacky brain, we turn a learned eye to the five senses. How does information enter our eyes/ears/nose etc. and make its way to the cavernous cortex? And will pheromones destroy your marriage?


  • "Face To Face With Death And Wishing I Had Brushed My Teeth" 02/01/11
    By John Saleeby
    Even while on his deathbed, Saleeby can't win. Thank God Lil' Wayne has come by to help!


  • Our Wacky Brain: What is Morality? 01/01/11
    By Wil Forbis
    The acid logic series exploring our strangest organ continues. Does our brain alter our body state to influence our moral behavior? And what happens when the process goes bad?

  • To the Chimp Cave! 01/01/11
    By John Saleeby
    After rediscovering his long-lost comic collection, John decides that Sergeant Rock wasn't all that hot. He certainly couldn't compare to the simian genius of Bobo, the Detective chimp!


  • Overrated 01/01/11
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    You can keep your Kubla Khan, your Mona Lisa and your Rolling Stones. Johnny prefers to get off his rocks with melting clocks.


  • Our Wacky Brain: What is Emotion? 12/01/10
    By Wil Forbis
    A new series of articles exploring the lubricated folds of the human brain starts off with a rumination on the nature of emotions. What sensations are you really feeling as you flee the angry bear who has climbed into your apartment?



  • John Saleeby Predicts the Future Yet Again!? 12/01/10
    By John Saleeby
    It has been six long years since Saleeby last cast his eyes to the heavens and prophesied about mankind's future. What new sage gems of wisdom will spring from his lips?



  • Apocalypse on Christmas: Revenge of the Elves 11/01/10
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny's curse laden, expletive filled poems about the Christmas season have become a holiday tradition around here. Twice he has killed Santa; how will he fair against an onslaught of elves?



  • Two Options Aren't Enough
    11/01/10

    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Choosing between Democrats and Republicans is driving Johnny batty. What about a a political party for Ninjas? Or cannibals?



  • Meet Your Friendly Neighborhood Psychopath 10/01/10
    By Spoiks
    What do Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and the contributors to acid logic have in common? They are all psychopaths! What behaviors do they exhibit? And can they be treated?


  • Uncle Jimmy's Easter Sunday Shooting Spree 10/01/10
    By John Saleeby
    Saleeby looks at the 1975 murder of the Ruppert family by son and sibling James, a disturbed and nitpicked gun enthusiast.


  • The Zodiac- It has Nothing to do with Astrology 10/01/10
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny examines the case of the infamous Zodiac killer, contemplates the maniac's possible identities, and comments on several films based on the murders.


  • Good Graphics Will Ruin Video Games 09/01/10
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny misses the days of Super Mario Brothers and Yar's Revenge, when imagination and plot trumped the need for a high-end video card.
  • Should Have Stayed In The Army And Gotten Killed In Iraq 09/01/10
    By John Saleeby
    Saleeby contemplates his 50th birthday and the damning effect it will have on his sex life. Should he order a mail-order Asian bride?



  • Writer's Block 08/01/10
    By Spoiks
    Perennial provocateur Spoiks argues that the Internet has unleashed a wave of meritless mediocrity upon us.



  • The End of Rock Criticism? 07/01/10
    By Wil Forbis
    As neuroscience slowly reveals that our taste in music is outside of our control, the end nears for the objective argument utilized by rock critics such as Lester Bangs and Robert Christgau.


  • Kiss Vs. The Beatles 07/01/10
    By John Saleeby
    Who would fare better in open warfare? The team of Paul and Gene or the pair of John and Paul? And let's not forget the elusive Ringo factor.


  • I've Got Your Oil Spill Right Here 07/01/10
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny's got enough to worry about without having to solve the Gulf oil crisis.



  • Lady Gaga VS. Ke$ha 06/01/10
    By Wil Forbis
    As modern technology reshapes the art of pop music production, two femme fatale's go head-to-head on the Billboard charts.



  • Justin Bieber Has Already Destroyed Pop Music 05/01/10
    By Wil Forbis
    The 16-year-old wunderkind reigning over the pop charts purports to be ghetto when he couldn't taste more vanilla. And he's destroying the archetypes of modern music!

  • Unappreciated Babes: Historical Edition 05/01/10
    By John Saleeby, Johnny Apocalypse and Wil Forbis
    For years, the good people at acid logic have brought to your attention lesser-known beauties deserving of a second look. But what about the potential consorts lost to the dustbins of history?


  • What about the Other Side of the Story? 05/01/10
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Public service announcements condemn smoking, shooting up and just plain shooting. Johnny demands equal time.


  • Mothers: Society's Greatest Evil! 05/01/10
    By Spoiks
    Wait! Before you take up that offer milk and cookies, contemplate the malfeasance of the modern matriarch.


  • Alex Chilton - Don't Tell a Soul 04/01/10
    By John Saleeby
    Shhh! Saleeby is determined to keep the career of the king of power pop a secret.

  • Avatar Vs. District 9 03/01/10
    By Wil Forbis
    Two recent science fiction films are preparing to battle it out for Best Picture. But they have more in common than they'd like to admit.

  • There will be Tits
    By John Saleeby 03/01/10
    John decries the Hollywood machinery that denied in 1972 Best Picture Oscar to "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes."


  • St. Peter's Waiting Room Part III
    By Tom Waters 03/01/10
    On vacation, Tom continues drinking and gorging his way across Florida. But he pauses at a flea market to discover the soul of America.


  • The Complexities and Exuberances of Time Travel 03/01/10
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    You might have presumed that Johnny had given up on his plan to create a time machine out of a lawnmower parts and a watch. You were mistaken.


  • Is Barack Obama the Blaxploitation President? 02/01/10
    By Wil Forbis
    Did the onslaught of Shaft and Superfly in the 70s lead to the election of Barack Obama in 2008?


  • St. Peter's Waiting Room Part II 02/01/10
    By Tom Waters
    Tom's vacation memoir continues with palatable exotic stones, reclusive Kentucky fried chicken and Catwoman. And booze of course. Lots of booze.

  • St. Peter's Waiting Room 01/01/10
    By Tom Waters
    Tom and his new wife visit his parents in Florida for an orgy of tobacco, alcohol and gastrointestinal delights.


  • Chronicles of a Shit Magnet 01/01/10
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny Apocalypse just wants to be left in peace. But if you screw with him, you'll face the dreaded "arm bar."


  • Apocalypse after Christmas 12/01/09
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Why it's getting to be a Yuletide tradition! In a new Christmas poem, Johnny releases a barrage of gunfire in his all-out war with St. Nick.

  • Pronunciation 12/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    The big day has arrived: Tom Waters has gotten married! At what point will his new bride realize the horrible mistake she's made?



  • “That Hotel is a Dump and your Monopoly is Pathetic!” 11/01/09
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Ah, the sweet simplicity of a board game on a summer day. Johnny demonstrates the ruthlessness needed to win at the Parker Brothers classic and clarifies when not to call in sexual favors.

  • Literati 10/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    Tom delivers his magnum opus on the plethora of science fiction, true crime, biographical and horror tomes spilling off his bookshelves.


  • I Don't Know What to Write about
    By Johnny Apocalypse 10/01/09
    Johnny wrestles with the greatest fear a writer faces: the blank page. Can he commit ink to paper before the Forbis goons appear?


  • The Divine Pop Comedy: Elton John’s Last Three Studio Albums 8/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    In a book excerpt, Tom takes a look at the trio of albums the prodigious pianist released during the 2000s.

  • What did Michael Jackson do? 6/01/09
    By Wil Forbis
    Reflections on the end of the reign of the King of Pop.

  • Boxing: It Has Little to do with Cardboard 6/01/09
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny analyzes the enduring appeal of the greatest sport and defends its inherent brutality.


  • Susan Boyle, Amy Winehouse and The Politics of Performance 6/01/09
    By Wil Forbis
    The success of Susan Boyle, the least glamorous chanteuse in human history, prompts thought about what we as an audience seek from our entertainers.

  • Oral Technique 6/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    After years of wielding the author's pen, Tom is making the tricky transition to talk radio host.


  • Confessions of a Metalholic 5/01/09
    By Wil Forbis
    What secret ties bind together1980s heavy metal, existential philosophy and Mickey Rourke's "The Wrestler"? Plus, learn to spot "gay metal."

  • The Golden Age of Hearing Loss 5/01/09
    By John Saleeby
    Aerosmith! Queen! Van Halen! Saleeby reminisces on classic concerts by the great metal bands of the 1970s.

  • Tom and Twig 5/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    Bad teeth and all, Tom turns out to truly be his mother's son.

  • When Metal Was Young 5/01/09
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Have Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Wishbone Ash been written out of your music history books? Johnny fixes the record.


  • Survey of the Heavy Metal Bands of My Youth 5/01/09
    By Wil Forbis
    Tesla, Great White and Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction were once the cat's meow. Have they stood the test of time?

  • Review of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" 5/01/09
    By Jane Mihn
    Is the latest entry into the X-Men franchise even worth downloading?


  • Even Torture Has Its Downsides 4/01/09
    By Wil Forbis
    Can a visit to a kitsch museum in the back alleys of Amsterdam spark an honest discussion on the merits of torture?


  • Clint Eastwood Can Blow Me! 4/01/09
    By John Saleeby
    John views Clint Eastwood's recent historical drama "Changeling" and concludes that the great director has fallen from grace. Also mentioned: King Kong versus the giant spiders.


  • The Department of Goofing Off 4/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    Freshly released from the toils of daytime servitude, Tom rails against the DMV-like ineptitude of the US Department of Labor.


  • Interesting Questions 4/01/09
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Can another nation steal Canada's name? Can our ethical code be summed up in a single slogan? Johnny asks the questions the mainstream media won't!



  • Braddah Obama 3/01/09
    By Wil Forbis
    Did the challenges of a youth spent in Hawaii helped develop Barack Obama's canny political ability?

  • Christmas Stocking Stuffer DVDs '08! 3/01/09
    By John Saleeby
    John tallies up his Christmas loot and waxes philosophically about the best Lutheran stop motion animation show in the known universe.


  • Thoughts On The Flight 3407 Plane Crash… 3/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    A native of Buffalo, Tom responds to the recent tragic plane crash and ruminates on the role the media will take in covering it.


  • A Review of "Slash" 1/01/09
    By Wil Forbis
    The recently released autobiography by the former lead guitarist of Guns N' Roses reveals all the chaos, debauchery and insanity that made the band a monster to be contended with. Also: why it's best to not share your groupies with Izzy Stradlin.

  • Reviewing Politicians 1/01/09
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    How do some of our recently elected officials fare when reviewed with the same critical eye that we cast upon our movies, our music and our television shows? Not well at all, my friend, not well at all.


  • Pussy Magnet 1/01/09
    By Tom Waters
    An admitted dog person, Tom is slowly being won over by the charms of the feline species.



  • Letter to Clients of Tumwater and Dowbringer Financial Services 12/01/08
    By Wil Forbis
    As the world financial system teeters on the brink of collapse, the erudite leadership of one of America's most respected financial institutions offers this advice: it's only going to get worse!


  • Double-Barrel Diplomacy 12/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Tom may be forced to tolerate his Canadian neighbors to the north, but he doesn't have to like it.


  • Apocalypse on Christmas 12/01/08
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Why aren't there more Christmas poems featuring cigarettes and automatic pistols?

  • Bring on the Monkeys 11/01/08
    By John Saleeby
    Its three movie reviews in one as Saleeby considers recent comedy classics "Electric Apricot," "The Trailer Park Boys," and "Postal."


  • Sawed-off Sam Walton 11/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Tom contemplates the horror of a life spent in retail hell.


  • 26 Years of My Bullshit
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny recounts his life as a caffeine addict, crime fanatic and philosopher and turns out to be a pretty interesting guy. Just don't vote for him.



  • World War Z 10/01/08
    By Wil Forbis
    How does Max Brooks's collection of first-person accounts of the zombie Holocaust make flesh eating ghouls scarier than they've ever been on film? By taking them seriously.


  • Beer & Foaming At The Mouth On The Campaign Trail 10/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Wanna hear something really scary? Tom Waters is getting married!


  • He's a Nasty Son of a Gun 10/01/08
    By John Saleeby
    John recalls the heyday of the horror host including such beloved broadcasters as Doctor Creep, Vampira, Ghoulardi and Morgus. And introducing: SCHIZO AND COLOSTOMO!


  • Batman, Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk Walk into a Bar... 08/01/08
    By Wil Forbis
    The summer of the superhero blockbuster is upon us. Can the latest attempts to translate comic book characters to the big screen cut the mustard?


  • I'm Not Paying $50 for a Hamburger! 08/01/08
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny Apocalypse announces he's cheap and the world replies, "How cheap is he?" Read the article to find out.


  • Frank Miller Can Blow Me! 08/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Tom contributes to the acclaimed acid logic series of media criticism by targeting the comic book legend behind "The Dark Knight" and "Sin City."


  • "The Thing" versus "The Thing" 07/01/08
    By John Saleeby
    It's a monster movie face-off as Saleeby pits the Howard Hawks' classic "The Thing from Another World" against "John Carpenter's The Thing."


  • Quiet Time Or Else 07/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Tom finds his efforts to find a little peace and quiet constantly foiled by the appendages of modern society.



  • Why Nirvana Blows 06/01/08
    By Wil Forbis
    In his first selection from his in progress book on the grunge years, Wil defends his refusal to join the cult of Cobain.


  • On Spec 06/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Tom contemplates on how form and format affect the fuel that the writer depends on for inspiration.


  • One Sentence Movie Reviews 06/01/08
    by Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny soliloquizes single sentence synopsi of such movies as "Sudden Impact," "Eyes Wide Shut" and "Night of the Comet."

  • Day of Our Deaths 05/01/08
    By John Saleeby
    While reviewing the remake of George Romero's "Day of the Dead," John proffers the theory that horror criticism has reached the same neglectful stage as rock criticism did in the 1970s. Then he gets distracted by Mena Suvari in a thong bikini.


  • Perpetual Estrogen 05/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    After living with a woman for almost four years, Tom has started to notice a few things about the fairer sex. Mainly that they're crazy.


  • A Few Goals in My Life 04/01/08
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny lays out a few of his aspirations for life including driving cross-country with his knees and catching the Zodiac killer.


  • Reviews of Records I Never Actually Listened to 04/01/08
    By John Saleeby
    Panic at the Disco. The Raconteurs. Bob Mould. John doesn't need to listen to 'em to know what he's talking about.



  • Underwear on the Outside 04/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Some people shoot up. Some people smoke crack. But Tom has a serious habit: comic books! He takes pause from his addiction to review the good and the bad.



  • A Few Facts of Life 04/01/08
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny offers a few hearty truths, like "the only thing banana flavored that's any good is bananas," and "nature does not like us."



  • Paul Reiser's The Thing About My Folks 03/01/08
    By Lujane Crotch
    Lujane reviews a movie by the Maestro of "Mad about You" and still finds time for several child molestation jokes.

     

  • Creationism and the Quick Ban 03/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    Tom comments on the strange habits of writers and takes a look back on his career.

     

  • Meet the Blaxploitation Superheroes!!! 02/01/08
    By Wil Forbis
    In the 1970's as "Shaft" and "Foxy Brown" raged on screens, Marvel Comics populated their universe with super-soul brothers like Luke Cage, The Black Panther and the Prowler.



  • Why It’s A Good Idea Not To Taunt Your Cuisinart 02/01/08
    By Tom Waters
    In the eternal battle between man and machine, Tom concedes defeat.



  • The Flower People 01/01/08
    By Stardumb
    Whoa man - trip out on the first ever Acid Logic music video! It'll get you grooving to a whole new age of aquarius.



  • But What About "The Wasp Woman"? 12/01/07
    By John Saleeby
    Step aside, Kubrick. Hit the skids, Tarentino. John peruses the latest box set of Roger Corman films and crowns the b-movie auteur king!



  • Butch and Tom 12/01/07
    By Tom Waters
    Break out the bourbon on the rocks -Tom is turning into his father. But maybe that isn't such a bad thing.



  • Politics, or How to Lose Your Mind by Choosing to Vote 12/01/07
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Just in time for the election cycle, Johnny tackles the foibles of a political system that drives him up the wall.



  • Best Laid Nervous Breakdowns 10/01/07
    By Tom Waters
    Say it ain't so! The king of the gentleman bachelors, Tom Waters, is taking the plunge!



  • The Acid Logic Guide To Squeamish Jew Humor 09/01/07
    By John Saleeby
    Learn to riff in the style of Woody Allen, Ben Stiller and Jerry Seinfeld! Written by a professional (non Jewish) comedian.

  • Cherry Trees & White House Interns 09/01/07
    By Tom Waters
    Tom puts forth the case that honesty is the best policy. No, seriously!



  • The Acid Logic One Hundred Best Movies Of All Time List (100% Spielberg-Scorsese Free)
    08/01/07
    By John Saleeby
    Tired of reading top 100 movie lists that don't even contain a single George Romero film? Saleeby sets the record straight.


  • Form of.. A Spoon
    08/01/07
    By Tom Waters
    The end is nigh! Tom's libido has taken a backseat to cuddling and conversation.


  • Unrecognized Guitar Gods
    08/01/07
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny gives Steve Howe, Buck Dharma and Dweezil Zappa the shout out they deserve. Hey, what's Gary Richrath (REO Speedwagon) doing here?



  • The Feminist Politics of Hostel II 06/01/07
    By Wil Forbis
    The latest Eli Roth horror spectacular has been denounced by alarmist movie critics as misogynistic torture porn. But does a more nuanced analysis reveal a different set of politics?



  • Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Into Fat Gamers 06/01/07
    By Tom Waters
    Who will mourn the modern video game nerd's slow waddle towards extinction? Certainly not Tom.



  • Keith Richards Can Blow Me!!! 06/01/07
    By John Saleeby
    John uncovers the secret plot by the boomer generation to crown Keith Richards king. But is it too late to save Lindsey Lohan?


  • Dear Mahmoud05/01/07
    By Jon Gagas
    Jon Gagas returns to our pages and offers a plea to the other power-mad, fundamentalist dictator of our times.


  • Johnny ApocalypseAnswers his Mail 05/01/07
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny defends his acid logic output from internet critics, porn spam-masters and our own editorial staff.



  • The Problem Video Games Cause 04/01/07
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Drug use? Childhood obesity? Homicidal urges? Don't blame me, ma, blame Donkey Kong!



  • Aw, Big Deal About Scarlett Johanson!! 04/01/07
    By John Saleeby
    What happens when John Saleeby melts a Creature from the Black Lagoon mask to his face and opens for Rascal Flatts? Not what you'd think. Well, maybe exactly what you'd think.



  • Breaking the Audience's Bond 04/01/07
    By Katharine Coldiron
    Katharine applauds Daniel Craig's "new" James Bond but longs for Roger Moore's bad puns and cheeky mirth.



  • 8 Simple Rules For Doing Something With Your Life 04/01/07
    By Tom Waters
    Put down the crack pipe, pull up your pants and listen to Tom's sage advice on how to obtain gainful employment.



  • Lights! Camera! Crazy Women Biting Guy's Dicks Off!! 02/01/07
    By John Saleeby
    We all assumed Saleeby couldn't get any crazier. When will we learn?


  • Investigating the Unexplained 01/01/07
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny gets up close and personal with UFOs, the Lock Ness Monster, ghosts and Bigfoot.



  • No Wonder Lennon Was Such a Miserable Prick 01/01/07
    By Tom Waters
    Are you filled with hope at the start of a new year? Let Tom's rage at a society of stinking, ignorant masses let the air out of your basketball.



  • Know Your Friendly Neighborhood CIA Agent 01/01/07
    By Seana Sperling
    Seana recalls her adventures in the Peace Corp and the onslaught of Central Intelligence.



  • News from Around the World 12/01/06
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Vikings protest at the U.N.? Death arrested? A cure for cancer? Johnny reports from the edge of unreality.



  • Predators and Editors 12/01/06
    By Tom Waters
    Tom applies the nine rules of myspace. Don't miss the shock ending!



  • A Higher Power 11/01/06
    By Max Burbank
    Max Burbank returns to contemplate the voices in President Bush's head in this elegantly rendered comic strip.


  • Avoiding the Devil in Your Daily Life 11/01/06
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny provides a laugh rich guide on how how to avoid the devil in his many guises... like celery, the music of the Police and "Great Expectations."



  • Comics that Made Me Shit My Pants 11/01/06
    By Wil Forbis
    It's not "Comics that Made Me Kill My Parents," or "Comics that Made Me Worship Satan," but just "Comics that Made Me Shit My Pants."



  • Martin Scorsese Can Blow Me! 10/01/06
    By John Saleeby
    Just in time for "The Departed," the new acid logic takedown series continues with a look at the acclaimed gangster director.



  • Slip Sliding Away 10/01/06
    By Tom Waters
    Tom struggles with the onset of dementia as his mind dissolves into a series of tiny little islands.



  • Dean Koontz Can Blow Me! 09/01/06
    By Wil Forbis
    A new acid logic feature debuts with a takedown of the king of schlock fiction.


  • Bizzaro Acrophobia 09/01/06
    By Tom Waters
    'How's the weather up there?' Tom stands up tall for the vertically augmented.


  • The New York Dolls For Beginners!!! 07/01/06
    By John Saleeby
    You think dig the Dolls? Saleeby breaks down the history of the world's prettiest all male rock group.

  • My Computer Can Beat Up Your Computer 07/01/06
    By Tom Waters
    Tom takes a look at the mysterious contraption that has spent the last twenty years plugging its way into the home of every American family.


  • Romance Tales for Average Folks 06/01/06
    Wil Forbis
    Why can't modern love be everything it's cracked up to be?

  • Movies I Hate (that Everybody Else Loves) 06/01/06
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny digs into beloved classics like "2001," "Blade Runner," and "Thelma and Louise" and steels himself against the likely armed backlash.

  • Unfriendly Skies 06/01/06
    By Tom Waters
    Tom rates the modern airport experince and finds that it licks balls.


  • Still More Unappreciated Babes 05/01/06
    By John Saleeby and Wil Forbis
    Acid Logic peers into the windows of such love dolls as Christina Cox, Asia Argento and the Hotties of HotMail!


  • Seven Sleep Disorders of Highly Effective People 05/01/06
    By Tom Waters
    Why can't Tom catch some ZZZZ's? Is it the nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, sex or all of the above?

  • The University Survival Guide 05/01/06
    By Bob Cluely
    Bob passes on advice gleaned in the world of "higher" education.

  • Apartment From Hell
    By Wil Forbis
    What's it like to share an apartment building with Charles Manson, "Hideously Burned Man," and a gigantic, armed and angry book lover?

  • Butch and Twig
    By Tom Waters
    Tom ruminates on his aging parents and their wild and crazy ways.

  • Conspiracy Theory: The World's Finest News Source  
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny takes a look at everything from Roswell, New Mexico to the WTC towers. Replete with juicy links for your own research.

  • The Saleeby Chronicles Continue
    By John Saleeby
    Saleeby takes a look at the delusional world or Lorne Micheals and the High Time's Channel's Original Motion Picture, "The McCartney Code."

  • Straight or High Movie Reviews
    As told to Wil Forbis
    Some movies require a bong hit while others demand sober concentration. Our crack team takes a look at everything from Hostel to Brokeback Mountain.


  • '70s DVD Revelry
    By John Saleeby
    Making up for lost opportunities, John reviews three films he never saw as a kid: The Hills Have Eyes, The Crazies and The Driller Killer.


  • Shaft
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny takes a look at the first hero of blaxploitation and pronounces him ultra funky after all these years.


  • Try Not To Think About Gun-Toting Elephants  
    By Tom Waters
    After years spent floating in the liberal world of independent newspapers Tom releases his inner conservative.


  • Dense Macabre  
    By Tom Waters
    Tom compares the state of splatter films to video games and ruminates on the connection between comedy and horror.


  • Of James and Bondage
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny contemplates the prospect of a blonde Bond and compares him to "Funny Bond" "Ass-Kicking Bond" and "Ugly Bond."


  • Hollywood Notes: Interview with King Kong 12/01/05
    By Wil Forbis
    The great ape stops by to spill the dish on working with Peter Jackson, his long friendship with Godzilla and his views on Iraq.


  • Pot Roast for the Soul 12/01/05
    By Tom Waters
    Whoda thunk it.... Tom Waters is cooking his own food!? And doing quite well at it from what I hear.


  • Doctor Longhair's Reviews of Movies that Don't Exist 11/01/05
    By Wil Forbis
    Itching to see the Kirsten Dunst porno or the latest from Bobo the Wonder Chimp? Doctor Longhair gives you the goods.


  • I Don't Wanna Go On With ‘What Did You Want On That?' 11/01/05
    By Tom Waters
    Tom lays down the rules of etiquette for the American drive through.

  • Tattoos and Their Vicissitudes 11/01/05
    By Robert Cluley
    Robert contemplates the big questions related to inkwork - where, what, and how much!

  • I Bin Ein Blogger 10/01/05
    By Robert Cluley
    Blogging has become the latest fad for self obsessed, socially underdeveloped egomaniacs. But is there a dark side?

  • The Saleeby Chronicles 10/01/05
    By John Saleeby
    Diane Lane, Cindy Sheehan and Bobby Brown all make a stopover in John Saleeby's questionable consciousness.


  • They Don't Make Actors Like They Used To 09/01/05
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Johnny ruminates on Lee Marvin, Steve McQueen and the tough guys from a bygone era.

  • Electric Tough Guy Land 09/01/05
    By John Saleeby
    Ever wondered what would have happened had Jimi Hendrix made Elvis style adventure films? Sure you have. No... really... It'd be a hoot!


  • Cool Hand Highway Superintendant 09/01/05
    By Tom Waters
    Tom takes a cool and collected look at the challenges of driving in Buffalo, New York.

  • On Being a Large, Land-Based Mammal 08/01/05
    By Tom Waters
    Tom contemplates the eating habits that causes his belly to expand and collapse on schedule.

  • London Calling, Says 'Hello' 08/01/05
    By John Saleeby
    While the America media screams and snivels about the 7/7 subway bombings, the British just go about their business. Because they don't, you know, suck.

  • If They Can't Take a Joke 08/01/05
    By Tom Waters
    As Tom awaits the arrival of his latest book he pontificates on his previous publishing "successes."


  • Doctor Who: The Old Versus the New 07/010/05
    By Johnny Apocalypse
    Doctor Who has survived death, cancellation and 26 seasons on BBC. Johnny gives the Who legacy a once over.


  • Speak Now Or When You Get Around To It 07/010/05
    By Tom Waters
    For how long can Tom put off the impending doom - of marriage?


  • Johnny Cash 06/010/05
    By John Saleeby
    Stripping away the idol worship, Saleeby looks at the Cash legacy.

  • Complete Text Of Laura Bush Speech At White House Correspondents' Dinner 06/010/05
    By Max Burbank
    Searching for a complete transcript of Laura Bush's infamous dinner remarks? Max delivers the goods.


  • Marvin Gaye’s Answer: Peak Oil 06/010/05
    By Cody Wayne
    Cody examines the apocalyptic nature of our current reality.


  • As a Writer 06/010/05
    By Tom Waters
    Tom rails against big screen authors who write themselves into their work.

  • Today's Top Stories, Ingested, Regurgitated And Reinterpretted 05/01/05
    By Max Burbank
    Max Burbank returns to AL and promptly goes all Dada on our ass!


  • The Great Email Scandal of 2032 05/01/05
    By John Saleeby
    In the future, acid logic publisher Wil Forbis is poised to become President. Can John Saleeby head off this disaster?


  • The Professor Visits the Red States 04/01/05
    By John Saleeby
    What would cause a blueblood Cambridge Professor to travel to the heart of Red America? Only the Lord Byron of our age - Jeff Foxworthy!


  • You Can't Put Your Arm Around a Memory 03/01/05
    By John Saleeby
    Can the film feud between rockers Def Leppard and Metallica be healed by the Duff McKagen "Hug-o-Love"?


  • Monkey See, Motley Crue 02/01/05
    By John Saleeby
    As the Crue plan their reunion tour, Saleeby ruminates on swimming pools filled with vodka, 'punking' Vince Neil and the content of the Kurt and Courtney sex video.


  • How To Be a Tough Guy 12/16/04
    By John Saleeby
    Hey milquetoast! Listen up as John plunders Hollywood's greatest action films for tips on turning yourself into an ass-kicking mofo.

  • More Unappreciated Babes 1216/04
    By Wil Forbis and John Saleeby
    For too long entertainment amazons like Kiran Chetry and Megan Mullally have gone unloved and unnoticed.


  • John Saleeby Predicts the Future... Again! 12/01/04
    By John Saleeby
    Find out what's in store for eHarmony.com, the War of the Worlds remake and President Sean Hannity!



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