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- What's Up With Bio Tech?
5/01/01
By Max Burbank
Max asks a sensible
question while pontificating moth poop and mice with human ears.
- Last New England
Yard Ape Dies in Captivity 4/15/01
By
Max Burbank
Max pontificates
on the work of sculptor Claes Oldenburg while dreaming of giant typewriter
erasers.
- Eye of the Tiger
4/01/01
By
Rich Evans
When confronted
with an e-mail requesting opinions on the Survivor television show,
Mr. Evans responds with the appropriate rant...
- Brian Had Fun, Fun,
Fun Til The Critics Took His T Bird Away
3/15/01
By
John Saleeby
Saleeby bemoans
the Beach Boys treatment at the hands of rock critics who ignore their
greatest work. Pet Sounds? Schmet Sounds!
- Some
Ways We Could Offend The Japanese Even More Than We Already Have
3/1/01
By Max Burbank
Max looks for new ways the United States can embarrass itself after
sinking the Japanese fishing boat, Ehime Maru.
- Seattle
EarthQuake!!! 3/1/01
By Anthony Passanno
Holy Satan! Read
this report of the Seattle Earthquake from Acid Logic's Seattle Bureau
Chief, Anthony Passonno.
He spares no effort describing the violent, gorey carnage!
- Teller And Me
2/15/01
By
Pete Moss
Pete reminisces on
his former Latin teacher and popular magician Teller in a fascinating
biographical essay.
- End
Times Update 2/1/01
By Max Burbank
Max ponders the dance moves of President Bush, Ricky Martin's hips,
and the eventual results of America's love affair with ever more youthful
pop groups: singing fetuses!
- Someone
Made a Movie Just For ME! 1/15/01
By
John Saleeby
John chimes in on
the Charlie's Angels movie and offers readers the Saleeby formula for
successful film making: Cute Girls, Funny Guys.
- Post
Election Angst 1/15/001
By Dan Seymour
New contributor Dan Seymour applies pressure to the funnybone to
uncover the other fraud of the 2000 election: the conspiracy
against college voters.
- Red Nostalgia
12/31/00
By
David Chorlton
Mr. Chorlton wistfully
looks back on the experience of visiting the Russia of yesteryear.
- Bible
Belt Beelzebub 12/16/00
By Gary Sloan
One man's war against the Bible Belt, set in the battlefield of
the op-ed page, is recalled in this delightful piece by Satan, er, Hitler,
er, Gary Sloan.
- Being,
Emptiness and Spandex Tights with the Underwear on the Outside
12/1/00
By
Max Burbank
The show continues
as Burbank wonders why his brain is filled with so much pointless comic
book trivia.
- Too
Much Monkey Business
12/1/00
By John Saleeby
Saleeby
ruminates on his years spent performing as a stand up comic and butting
heads with the likes of Colin Quinn.
- Don't
Want Him Around Anyhow
11/15/00
By John Saleeby
Saleeby points the finger squarely at alternative music and ruminates
on Isaac Haye's role on South Park.
Not for the faint of heart.
- Cute
Girls Who Died
11/1/00
By John Saleeby
Saleeby pops off another one-two punch by rewriting the music of
Jim Caroll and offering up an interview with Steve Martin.
- A
Girlfriend's Guide to Online Pornography
11/1/00
By Robin Devero
Let Ms. Devero explain the strange nomenclature inherit in your
boyfriend's web smut addiction.
- Our
Universal Dreams
10/15/00
By Max Burbank
Continuing the dream theme, Burbank explores the meaning of the
"I have to take this test naked" dream, and other nightime
adventures common to all mankind.
- Children
of Kahoutek
9/30/00
By Max Burbank
Few things are more deserving of the term "acid logic"
than Max Burbank's fevered analysis of comets and comic books.
- Gore
Daughter - Comic Genius!
9/30/00
By John Saleeby
The comic talents of Kristin Gore are disected, as well as Saleeby's
headbangin' past.
- Smell
My Finger
9/18/00
By John Saleeby
Saleeby reminisces on his coital career involving Aerosmith and
Abominabal Snowman.
- Three Kings 9/1/00
By Pete Moss
Hollywood insider, Pete Moss, examines the work of Steven King, Barbara Kingsolver and Kingsley Amis.
- The Rise and Fall of Jason Becker (and Rise Again) 9/1/00
By Wil Forbis
As the guitarist for the David Lee Roth band, 20 year old Jason Becker was on top of the world. Then tragedy struck, and his life went in a strange new direction.
- Cheny of Fools/Blacklisting Richard Lewis 8/17/00
By John Saleeby
Get set for a double shot of Saleeby as he points the pen at Mary Cheny and Richard Lewis.
- Fashion Tips for Mutant Superheros 8/17/00
By Spar Sperling
As the siege of X-Men mania descends upon us, peruse this synopsis of superhero style.
- Art Talk With The Ramones 7/30/00
By John Saleeby
Saleeby delivers another comedic double whammy while discussing the art world and post punk careers of the Ramones.
- Death To All Taggers 7/30/00
By Anthony Passonno
"...a modern day, hipster Zarathustra, waiting and watching, then crossing the abyss in a frenzied state of berserker rage and Wagnerian bravado, until I see IT!!! SOMEONE TAGGED MY FUCKING BUILDING!!!"
- Chicken Soup For The Serial Killer's Soul 7/13/00
By Patrick Raftery
We could all stand to learn something from the soul enriching experience of a serial killer.
- Learning From Your Shame 6/28/00
By Rev John D. Finkletter
One of the best ways to grow as a person is to learn from the sordid moments in your past. And the Rev's got plenty of them.
- Great Forgotten Moments of the 1970's 6/15/00
By John Saleeby
Hold onto your pants for two articles in one, as Saleeby gives the straight dope on the decade of sin and the disdain of Kathy Lee Gifford.
- Are You a Scumbag? 5/25/00
By John Saleeby
Take the quiz to find out if you're either an average guy, a serial killer, or a bitter stand up comedian. (Which of the three options is not a scumbag is left to the reader's discretion.)
- My Prison Diaries 5/10/00
By John Saleeby
Ex-stand up comedian, Saleeby, summarizes his years in the big house... a place where defending the good name of Charlie Chaplin becomes a point of honor.
- Things That Annoy Me 4/30/00
By Seana Sperling
- #2 The Noise Patrol: Seana continues venting, aiming her rage at car alarms, construction workers and other ill gotten noisemakers.
- #1 Blonde Discrimination: Seana Sperling starts off her long awaited "Things That Annoy Me" series by taking a jab at the lowest order of witticism: The Blonde Joke.
- Kurt Cobain 4/13/00
By Devora
Devora lays down the final word on the Gen X icon.
- Let's Hear it For Anti-Depressants! 4/13/00
By Mad Brunette
Goddamit, drugs aren't problem... They're the solution!
- Cubical Spawn 3/30/00
By Tom Skuja
The truth is, you can never say enough about how unattractive babies are.
- The Columbine Massacre For Total Idiots 2/11/00
By Devora
Amidst the hype of all these school shootings it may be hard to find the truth. Devora lays it out for the cerebrally impaired.
- James Brolin Gets A Role 2/11/00
By Ian Wolfe
After years of struggle James Brolin has been offered the role of a lifetime... and Ms. Streisand won't take "no" for an answer.
- Assisting the Disabled 1/20/00
By Seana Sperling
In true Acid Logic fashion, Seana Sperling details the many ways we can help the disabled in our society. And how many people already are!
- BucketHead... Groove On 12/9/99
By Spoiks
BucketHead, a masked, chicken lovin' demon has been mixing guitar solos and Giant Lizards for years now. Isn't it time he got his due?
- Michael Schenker is God 10/11/99
By Spoiks
In America, circa 1987, metal ruled the land (to paraphrase Judas Priest.) And perhaps its most fiercesome practitioner was Michael Schenker, a long-maned, rail thin agent of darkness.
- Billy Preston is the Funkiest, Grooviest, Motherfucker on the Planet 10/2/99
By Spoiks
"Outta-space," one of the funkiest songs of all time, has fallen between the cracks of American music. Yet Billy Preston has more groove in his little finger than the Chili Peppers and their concubines combined.
- Conrad's Night in the Big House
By Conrad Keely
Conrad Keely sent me this article about his first night in jail. Is it a desperate cry for help... or something much, much more?
- A Dignified Analysis of Devo's Freedom of Choice
By Wil Forbis
An insightful and intriguing look at this underated band. You will find your life changed or your money back.
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