Our team of crack Acid Logic contributors talk about the movies that changed their lives for the wetter!
The Wizard of Oz
There is only one movie that made me jump up and run out of the room screaming yellow bloody murder and that is "The Wizard Of Oz". Yeah, you're laughing now that you're all grown up and you've seen "The Wizard Of Oz" fifteen or twenty times, but remember the first time you saw it when you were only two or three years old? Maybe not, but ask your Mom and Dad about it and they'll probably bust out laughing and tell you a story about you getting so scared you shit your pants. Then tell 'em being exposed to Judy Garland and all that musical theater at such an early age turned you queer and watch them shit their pants just to get even!
There are a lot of creepy things in "The Wizard
Of Oz" - Talking trees, flying monkeys, the sexual tension between the
Tin Man and your Flintstones lunchbox - but what really pushed me from
"Funny funny scarecrow, hee hee hee!!" right into "LAWD HAVE MUSSY!!"
was the climactic appearance of The Wizard 'is Own Bad Sef. Maybe Dorothy,
The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, and The Cowardly Lion had to go in there and
deal with that guy, but what was in it for me? I was so scared that when
The Lion finally lost it and ran out of the room, down the hall, and dove
out of the window I said "Fuck this!! You people are tryin' to kill me
with this shit!!!" and took off right with him. I bet if you were watching
"The Wizard Of Oz" that night in the early sixties you could see me running
down the hall and jumping out the window right behind him. And he was
still dumb enough to get back together with those other idiots to sneak
into the Witch's castle after a friggin' broom? Screw that - I was goin'
"Fletch Lives" really gets going when he decides to move down to Louisiana--with the plan of living on an old Southern plantation that was recently willed to him. First, he has sex with his real estate agent--who then dies mysteriously--and the hilarity just does not fucking stop from that point onward. I'm telling you--this film has it all: a bizarre negro man-servant, Southern belles, a freaky Southern Evangelist preacher, a gay prison scene, a double-crossing old Southern gentleman, a scene with the KKK...it even has a song and dance routine reminiscent of the glory days of Disney. And--of course--we certainly shouldn't overlook Chevy Chase as the brilliant reporter/detective Fletch. Chevy is at his best in this role, and now that I think about it..."Fletch Lives" might have been the last great film he ever made.
If you haven't already seen "Fletch Lives"--do
yourself a favor and check that shit out. You could certainly do much
"Re-Animator" should be required viewing
for anyone who claims even the slightest interest in the horror genre.
I was about 15 when I saw this in theaters and words can't do just to
how spectacular it is. Producer Charles Band was committed to outdoing
the standard of gore that had been set by b horror films of the seventies
and succeeded with flying eyeballs to spare. Just watching Herbert West
getting attacked by an angry large intestine is worth the price of admission.
Basically, "Supervixens" is the story of one man's journey across the great American landscape--on the run from Johnny Law--accused of a crime he didn't commit. I guess it's sort of like "The Fugitive", but a helluva lot better. Along the road he runs into a variety of wacky freaks--a sadistic cop, a kindly old farmer with a young nymphomaniac Swedish wife and a couple of wild kids in a hotrod, to name a few. All our hero wants is peace, love and understanding, but instead he finds only anger, lust and insanity.
The standout performance of "Supervixens" is delivered by Mr. Charles Napier (a man who was once described as having the "squarest jaw in Hollywood"). After seeing this film, you might wonder why he didn't get more great roles like this one. His disturbing performance in "Supervixens" makes Keitell's Bad Lieutenant look like a soft, cuddly teddy-bear.
I promise you, gentle reader--this film will make
you laugh, cry, scream, sigh with ecstasy, vomit, shake your fist--and
yes--it will also make you shit your pants.
of the Living Dead
The movie fucked my world up in serious ways. I'm
better now. They're coming for you Barbara! They're coming to get you!
There's a couple scenes from this movie that will definitely make you blow your colon:
1) James Spader gives the same performance he
does in every film, hiding the smoldering anger chicks love beneath a
veneer of indifference. But in "Tuff Turf," he lets his guard
down long enough to sing a love ballad to the Cyndi Lauperish trollop
he's pursuing. It's called "We Walk the Night" and has got to be one of
the most embarrassing moments ever committed to film. What's even worse
is that Spader actually sings it, as opposed to just lip singing over
Michael Bolton's dubbed vocals, and that boy ain't no Smokey Robinson.
*I actually saw these guys play in person when
I attended a live taping of the Fox Late night show that eventually turned
into Arsenio Hall.
After the beginning, the plot sort of meanders through being a drama and action film. It does feature a kooky and somewhat compelling performance from John Lithgow--as an international brainiac super-badguy. And the producers were wise enough to cast that very, very lovely girl who played Maggie on the TV show "Northern Exposure" as Stallone's love interest.
So, you've got Stallone against a group of high-tech
euro bad-boys--sort of like the goons in "Die Hard"--and you've got Stallone
against a big fucking icy mountain. And I think he pretty much pulls it
off. But really--the only reason I love this film so much is that blissful,
beautiful opening scene. After that, you can pretty much get up and make
yourself a ham sandwich or whatever...go change your pants....
I shit you not when I say, to this day "SteppenWolf"
is my favorite film.
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