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Let's Hear it For Anti-Depressants!

By Mad Brunette

Something happened to me this past summer. I noticed a degree of apathy in me that far exceeded my usual levels. It only increased. It was followed by a depression so embarrassing, I began to understand Goths. In December it hit me with the force I could only liken to my childhood days of watching my friend Corina's head being smashed into a porcelain sink by her alcoholic bastard father. And like Corina's face, my brain remained bruised for several months after.

I'll spare you the weepy, pathetic details, but suffice it to say that I had all the energy and drive of a three toed sloth. I hated myself for what I was becoming. Eventually, I went to my doctor.

My thyroid was checked, turned up normal. My epilepsy was still dormant. Everything seemed okay. The doctor told me that this was going to take a long time to get over, and that no pill would make it all go away.

A doctor has never been so wrong.

Now, my usual solution to this would be about five shots of Old Kentucky Whiskey, but I decided to enter the world of pharmaceuticals. Something by the name of Prozac has captured my heart. I'm all about easy answers... especially regarding my mental health. The last thing I want to end up as is some walking depressed drone. So, mother fucker, ghetto blast my ass with that shit. I want to be able to laugh at humanity again, instead of sobbing in the corner of my room.

Now, don't get me wrong...Prozac isn't all a cake ride. I had to take the shit for over a month before it did a damn thing. Oh, except for those panic attacks. Yeah, that. Well, when your body receives a thorough serotonin attack, it doesn't always know just how to process it. So, what you may experience is two weeks of degrading panic attacks leaving you weeping and hypervenilating into the wee hours of the night. But, trust me, it's worth it.

I'm gonna go blow bubbles from my balcony, and try and figure out if there's any way I can main line this shit. Burn it down, inject it straight. If you have any suggestions, do share.

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