July 16 2003
It seems that all you'd
have to do to set off a massive riot of berserk, blood-hungry women,
scratching, clawing, biting, and screaming in every conceivable direction,
is to suggest that maybe sucking out a living fetus of a woman's womb
and scraping out other various amenities with some tools isn't the most
beneficial possibility for all parties involved. To hear some women
talk about it, it really sounds like they think that abortion can be
placed in the same classification as pretty clouds and cotton candy,
peaches and chocolate and beautiful, sunny days. I actually overheard
some girl in a bowling alley saying to her friend: "Oh, you mean you've
never had an abortion? You have to try one. They're great!" Just kidding.
But in all seriousness,
I have difficulty grasping exactly where and when people began thinking
of abortions as God's greatest gift to woman since the Lifetime Television
Network. I wouldn't be surprised to walk out of my house to see "Nation
Abortion Promotion Day," with people handing me flyers and pamphlets
about why I simply can't afford to pass up an abortion while I still
have the chance.
I happen to be pro-choice,
but that is only because I am an extremely progressive liberal, and
an insufferable bleeding heart. I put my belief in a woman's right to
choose to kill her unborn child in the same category as my belief that
all drugs should be legal, that pedophiles should be allowed to possess
child pornography, and that convicted murderers and rapists should be
teachers, in order to expose our children to all different types of
people. I also believe that when discussing a woman's right to choose,
abortion should be considered a very serious and grave matter, with
an emphasis on the fact that while oppression and restriction of women's
rights are bad, a dead, bloody fetus that had a heartbeat until you
aborted it is bad as well.
Abortion is an ugly process.
I've seen pictures. They weren't exactly the most wholesome images I've
ever seen. It's not a particularly natural procedure, and women bleed,
have cramps, and pass large clots of blood (ewww!!!) for weeks after
an abortion. None of this is any reason why abortions shouldn't be perfectly
legal anyway, but can we at least paint a realistic picture of them
as regrettable but occasionally necessary evils, rather than a joyous
trip to the beach that you'll always remember fondly? Can we at least
discourage them, please? Pretty please?
I mean I don't buy this
whole "think of all the possible Kareem Abdul-Jabars who never lived
because of abortions" argument, because for every Kareem who was aborted,
there were three or four million Will Perdues. But I do believe that
abortions are wrong and bad, and although I don't believe we have the
right to tell a woman that she can't have one, I also know that I would
never in a million years have one for myself. Fortunately for me, the
prospects of me getting pregnant remain encouragingly slim.
Don't get me wrong, now.
I'm not supporting pro-lifers by any stretch of the imagination. I think
they need to get off their soapboxes, stop shooting doctors who perform
abortions, and mind their own business. Furthermore, I don't think some
jerk in a suit working for an insurance firm for $55,000 a year with
season tickets for the Lakers has the right to tell a pregnant, single
woman working at the White Castle that killing a tiny, sticky fusion
of cells within her own body is immoral, unless of course he intends
to pay for the baby's expenses himself.
All I'm saying is that we
need to bear in mind what a horrifying and ugly thing an abortion is,
and even though we can't prevent women from having them (either by a
legal medical procedure or by a wire hanger,) we shouldn't champion
abortion as being a fun, cheap, and constructive way to spend our leisure
time. We must silence the voice of that hippie demonstrating on the
campus of Columbia University, yelling: "Get an abortion today!"
What do you think? Leave your comments on the Guestbook!
Feel free to scream at Dan here: email@example.com
And check out his previous acid logic articles, Post
Election Angst and Promiscous Pam