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Irish pt. XXXVI

By Pete Moss


A few days go by and then Pacoima Larry shows up

"What's up?" I say.

Larry shrugs. "How you liking San Diego?" he says.

"Pretty good so far," I say. "I need a bicycle though."

"A bicycle?"

"Yeah, a two-wheeler."


"I like to ride."


"To the liquor store."

"Just go to the bike shop and buy one, there's a bike shop on Midway," says Larry.

"I don't want some mass produced, overpriced Chinese piece of crap," I say.

Finally Larry gets it. "This is a San Francisco thing isn't it?"


"OK, I get it. I'll find a bike builder for you. In the meantime I booked a match for Ramona."

"Cool. Big money?"

"It'll be a payday. There's a problem though."


"It's a rematch. It's with Deirdra Redstone. She's the only person who ever beat Ramona twice in a row."

"You think Ramona won't want to play?"

"I'm hoping you and YoYo can ease her into it. Ramona hates confrontations."

"What do I get out of it?" I say.

"I'll introduce you to the best bike builder you ever met."

I consider that. I stick out my hand "Deal," I say.


"Pacoima Larry has a match lined up for Ramona," I say to YoYo, next day.

"More money," says YoYo.

"Pacoima seems to think Ramona might turn down the match."

"Why?" says YoYo.

"Cause this person already beat Ramona twice."

"Oh," says YoYo. "Well, we can't let that get in the way of us making money."

"I feel that way myself," I say. I fill YoYo in on what Pacoima Larry said.

"The only thing we can do is go over and talk to Ramona," says YoYo.

We walk over to Ramona's Winnebago. The dogs follow us. The only dog Ramona will let in her Winnebago is Daisy. Pedro and Bruno have to wait outside. They don't really mind. They like rolling in a particular patch of dirt a few yards up the way.

"Hey, how are you guys? I'm so glad to see you! Do you want to play Scrabble?" says Ramona.

"Of course we do," says YoYo. We climb into the Winnebago. Ramona sets out the Scrabble board and tiles.

YoYo draws an A and goes first. She scores a bunch of points when she lays down 'exhume'.

"So Larry has a match lined up," I say.

"Already?" says Ramona. "Usually I get a month off."

"It's kind of a special match," says YoYo.

Ramona looks up from her tiles. "With that bitch Deirdra Redstone?"

YoYo and I look at each other.

"How did you know?"

"Fuck that bitch! I'll rip her in half. She only beat me by one point last time, and that was only cause I drew the X on the last draw and then got caught out."

YoYo and I exchange looks. This is a new side of Ramona.

"I do believe Miss Ramona is ready to fight," I say.

"I do believe you are correct," says YoYo.