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The Ten Best Articles of 2002

By Wil Forbis

Chrizz-ist! Is it that time again? Time for the now annual tradition of announcing the ten best articles published in this past year of Acid Logic? My tux is at the cleaners (That pesky bloodstain is taking forever to come out!) My date – a near perfect clone of Cameron Diaz that the Raelians were brewing for me – has an extra head that needs to be removed. I’m simply not ready. And now you want a speech?

(Grumble…) Well, I guess I had some notes somewhere, so let’s see if I can get through without embarrassing myself – or at least without mentioning the “axis of evil.” It’s been a good year for Acid Logic. Readership continues to grow in leaps and bounds, much drama played out on the guestbook, we had a successful “All-Fiction Issue” and many new authors joined the fold. (As well as some new bloggers!) I, as publisher of this outfit, hit 2003 pumped up and ready to roll, with a load of new ideas I want to put into place as the year progresses.

That said, now is time to look back over the past twelve months and try to highlight some of the best material to have found its way onto Acid Logic. As I mentioned in the first “Ten-Best awards” column, there is no more methodology towards the choosing of these articles other that my good judgment. And, in no way am I above nominating myself for inclusion. That said, I do try and be inclusive of all people who have made an effort to help grow Acid Logic into the media powerhouse that it is today.

You might retort, “But that’s not fair either – you should be judging each piece on it’s own merits, not whether the contributor has a history of submitting the web zine!” To which I say, “Jesus Christ, if you’re such a nimrod that you’ll time argue about the who gets an award in this pissant little web site then… Oh, actually, you’re not arguing that, are you? I’m arguing with myself again. Hmmm…. time to look at porn.”

The envelope please…

10) The Waiter– By Kurt Kitasaki
Kurt’s had a variety of fictional pieces published in Acid Logic during the last year. They almost always featured a somewhat dumbfounded, male protagonist relating a series of absurd events that has happened to him, often culminating in the lead character’s descent into international exposure. I thought this piece exemplified that motif the best, as well as getting added points for making fun of the French.
Read it!

9) The Tube-Sock Syndicate – By Tom Waters
Sometimes you start to wonder what’s happened to good old fashion hatred. And evil. And pessimism. Fortunately, Tom’s keeping them alive with every piece he submits to Acid Logic. This article, a general battle cry against the old and feeble, shone brightest, especially with the line, “The elderly are wicked, crotchety, incessantly whiney leeches…”
Read it!

8) Penthouse Forum Rejects – By Wil Forbis and John Saleeby
If we learned one thing from the phenomenal success of our article, “A Girlfriend’s Guide to Online Pornography,” it’s this: Sex sells. This four-part gag article, sampling the letters to Penthouse Forum that didn’t make it into print, also did quite well, receiving a ton of hits (I could check the actually amount but I’m too lazy.) At the very least, you have to read the first sample reject, written by John, about the father who looks “just like the guy who plays Eric's dad on That Seventies Show.”
Read it!

7) Fuck It! – By Cody Wayne
Cody submitted a lot of great movie write ups to our “Motherfucking Masterpieces” section this past year, but what stood out to me was his retelling of his final high school kegger. It’ll make you want to do some Jager shots, but also looks at the nihilism of youth from a variety of angles.
Read it!

6) Interview with John H Richardson – By Wil Forbis
It was slightly more than a year ago that I found myself walking along the Santa Monica promenade (with none other than Cody Wayne) and I came the book “IN THE LITTLE WORLD: A True Story of Dwarves, Love, and Trouble” by John H Richardson. From what I could pick up off the book jacket, the tome seemed to be a recounting of Richardson interactions with the little people at a yearly convention held for dwarfs. It sounded vaguely amusing so I picked it. Upon reading it, I was blown away. The book, which dealt a great many topics beyond dwarfism challenged my beliefs in a way I’ve never experienced. I recommend it to everyone, and I followed up the reading experience by completing a phone interview with the author. I like to think it carries some small essence of the book onto the pages of acid logic and will cause readers to become curious enough to pick up the novel. (Plus, it generated genuine dwarf hate mail of the guestbook!)
Read it!

5) Interesting Motherfuckers: John Kennedy Toole – By John Saleeby
John Kennedy Toole, the doomed author of the darkly humorous novel “The Confederacy of Dunces” was actually the person who first got me thinking of the idea of an Interesting Motherfuckers section. But it was John who took that ball and ran with it, creating a hilarious piece that talked about everything the other Toole bios never mention.
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4) Jason Yungbluth, Evil Genius – By Tom Waters
Tom scored big when he turned myself and Acid Logic readers onto the work of Jason Yungbluth, creator of the comic book, Deep Fried. It’s a hilarious, wicked, and sometimes strangely touching comic that reminds me of the early days of Dan Clowes EightBall. Jason’s humor came out in this interview as he fended off Tom’s cynical queries.
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3) Year of the Ozzy – By Wil Forbis
Christ, I remember listening to Ozzy while driving around with stoned out metalheads in my native habitat of Honolulu, HI. Never did I think I’d see the day that the Ozzmeister was the star of his own reality television show. (The only reality television show that I can watch without wanting to pummel small puppies into piles of goo.) Ozzy’s final transformation from devourer of bat heads to pop icon prompted various thoughts about the state of popular culture with I laid down in this column.
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2) Interesting Motherfuckers: Jack Webb – By John Saleeby
John’s spent a sizeable section of his submissions to acid logic pining away for the lost American that existed before the hippies showed up in the sixties and ruined everything. The man who most perfectly embodied this Shangri La was Jack Webb, an individual not afraid to face the scourge of hippiedom head on. John offered a funny and even slightly touching tribute to his cultural father figure while reminiscing about those classic episodes of Dragnet. (Remember the one where the kid trips out on LSD and buries his head in the dirt?)
Read it!

1) Side Effects – By Chris Kassel
Truth be told, when I started up Acid Logic, I didn’t even want to have a fiction section. So much of the regular material that passes through these pages is filled with such hyperbole that to set out a whole section just for fiction seemed redundant. Nonetheless, I’m glad I did because it allowed a chance to run Chris Kassel’s very excellent Side Effects. It’s a gastrointestinal horror show that offers fair warning of the ever-increasing list of strange substances we consume in the name of health and hunger. I was truly honored to be able to run this story and I heartily encourage you to take a gander.
Read it!



Wil Forbis is a well known international playboy who lives a fast paced life attending chic parties, performing feats of derring-do and making love to the world's most beautiful women. Together with his partner, Scrotum-Boy, he is making the world safe for democracy. Email -

Visit Wil's web log, The Wil Forbis Blog, and receive complete enlightenment.

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