By Wil Forbis
01/16/03
Chrizz-ist! Is it that time
again? Time for the now annual tradition of announcing the ten best
articles published in this past year of Acid Logic? My tux is at the
cleaners (That pesky bloodstain is taking forever to come out!) My date
– a near perfect clone of Cameron Diaz that the Raelians were brewing
for me – has an extra head that needs to be removed. I’m simply not
ready. And now you want a speech?
(Grumble…) Well, I guess
I had some notes somewhere, so let’s see if I can get through without
embarrassing myself – or at least without mentioning the “axis
of evil.” It’s been a good year for Acid Logic. Readership continues
to grow in leaps and bounds, much drama played out on the guestbook,
we had a successful “All-Fiction Issue” and many new authors joined
the fold. (As well as some new bloggers!)
I, as publisher of this outfit, hit 2003 pumped up and ready to roll,
with a load of new ideas I want to put into place as the year progresses.
That said, now is time to
look back over the past twelve months and try to highlight some of the
best material to have found its way onto Acid Logic. As I mentioned
in the first “Ten-Best awards” column,
there is no more methodology towards the choosing of these articles
other that my good judgment. And, in no way am I above nominating myself
for inclusion. That said, I do try and be inclusive of all people who
have made an effort to help grow Acid Logic into the media powerhouse
that it is today.
You might retort, “But that’s
not fair either – you should be judging each piece on it’s own merits,
not whether the contributor has a history of submitting the web zine!”
To which I say, “Jesus Christ, if you’re such a nimrod that you’ll time
argue about the who gets an award in this pissant little web site then…
Oh, actually, you’re not arguing that, are you? I’m arguing with myself
again. Hmmm…. time to look at porn.”
The envelope please…
10) The Waiter– By
Kurt Kitasaki
Kurt’s had a variety of fictional pieces published in Acid Logic
during the last year. They almost always featured a somewhat dumbfounded,
male protagonist relating a series of absurd events that has happened
to him, often culminating in the lead character’s descent into international
exposure. I thought this piece exemplified that motif the best, as well
as getting added points for making fun of the French.
Read it!
9) The Tube-Sock Syndicate
– By Tom Waters
Sometimes you start to wonder what’s happened to good old fashion hatred.
And evil. And pessimism. Fortunately, Tom’s keeping them alive with every
piece he submits to Acid Logic. This article, a general battle cry against
the old and feeble, shone brightest, especially with the line, “The elderly
are wicked, crotchety, incessantly whiney leeches…”
Read it!
8) Penthouse Forum Rejects
– By Wil Forbis and John Saleeby
If we learned one thing from the phenomenal success of our article,
“A Girlfriend’s Guide to
Online Pornography,” it’s this: Sex sells. This four-part gag article,
sampling the letters to Penthouse Forum that didn’t make it into print,
also did quite well, receiving a ton of hits (I could check the actually
amount but I’m too lazy.) At the very least, you have to read the first
sample reject, written by John, about the father who looks “just like
the guy who plays Eric's dad on That Seventies Show.”
Read it!
7) Fuck It! – By Cody
Wayne
Cody submitted a lot of great movie write ups to our “Motherfucking
Masterpieces” section this past year, but what stood out to me was his
retelling of his final high school kegger. It’ll make you want to do
some Jager shots, but also looks at the nihilism of youth from a variety
of angles.
Read it!
6) Interview with John
H Richardson – By Wil Forbis
It was slightly more than a year ago that I found myself walking along
the Santa Monica promenade (with none other than Cody Wayne) and I came the
book “IN THE LITTLE WORLD: A True Story of Dwarves, Love, and Trouble”
by John H Richardson. From what I could pick up off the book jacket,
the tome seemed to be a recounting of Richardson interactions with the
little people at a yearly convention held for dwarfs. It sounded vaguely
amusing so I picked it. Upon reading it, I was blown away. The book,
which dealt a great many topics beyond dwarfism challenged my beliefs
in a way I’ve never experienced. I recommend it to everyone, and I followed
up the reading experience by completing a phone interview with the author.
I like to think it carries some small essence of the book onto the pages
of acid logic and will cause readers to become curious enough to pick
up the novel. (Plus, it generated genuine dwarf hate mail of the guestbook!)
Read it!
5) Interesting Motherfuckers:
John Kennedy Toole – By John Saleeby
John Kennedy Toole, the doomed author of the darkly humorous novel
“The Confederacy of Dunces” was actually the person who first got me
thinking of the idea of an Interesting Motherfuckers section. But it
was John who took that ball and ran with it, creating a hilarious piece
that talked about everything the other Toole bios never mention.
Read it!
4) Jason Yungbluth, Evil
Genius – By Tom Waters
Tom scored big when he turned myself and Acid Logic readers onto the
work of Jason Yungbluth, creator of the comic book, Deep Fried. It’s a hilarious, wicked,
and sometimes strangely touching comic that reminds me of the early
days of Dan Clowes EightBall. Jason’s humor came out in this interview
as he fended off Tom’s cynical queries.
Read it!
3) Year of the Ozzy –
By Wil Forbis
Christ, I remember listening to Ozzy while driving around with stoned
out metalheads in my native habitat of Honolulu, HI. Never did I think
I’d see the day that the Ozzmeister was the star of his own reality
television show. (The only reality television show that I can watch
without wanting to pummel small puppies into piles of goo.) Ozzy’s final
transformation from devourer of bat heads to pop icon prompted various
thoughts about the state of popular culture with I laid down in this
column.
Read it!
2) Interesting Motherfuckers:
Jack Webb – By John Saleeby
John’s spent a sizeable section of his submissions to acid logic
pining away for the lost American that existed before the hippies showed
up in the sixties and ruined everything. The man who most perfectly
embodied this Shangri La was Jack Webb, an individual not afraid to
face the scourge of hippiedom head on. John offered a funny and even
slightly touching tribute to his cultural father figure while reminiscing
about those classic episodes of Dragnet. (Remember the one where the
kid trips out on LSD and buries his head in the dirt?)
Read it!
1) Side Effects – By
Chris Kassel
Truth be told, when I started up Acid Logic, I didn’t even want
to have a fiction section. So much of the regular material that passes
through these pages is filled with such hyperbole that to set out a
whole section just for fiction seemed redundant. Nonetheless, I’m glad
I did because it allowed a chance to run Chris Kassel’s very excellent
Side Effects. It’s a gastrointestinal horror show that offers fair warning
of the ever-increasing list of strange substances we consume in the
name of health and hunger. I was truly honored to be able to run this
story and I heartily encourage you to take a gander.
Read it!
