An individual exhibiting such uniqueness or individuality that he or she will cause a roomful of bar cronies to exclaim, "That's one interesting motherfucker!" Actual sexual relations with one's mother are not required.
By John Saleeby
Is Jerry Stiller The Funniest Man In The World? Well, who is if he ain't? That red headed guy in the Sonic commercials? He cracks me up! Nah, Jerry Stiller is funnier than that guy. Anyway, "INTERESTING MOTHERFUCKERS - THAT RED HEADED GUY IN THE SONIC COMMERCIALS" just sounds kind of dumb. But "INTERESTING MOTHERFUCKERS - THAT JEW GEEZER IN 'SEINFELD' AND 'THE KING OF QUEENS'" is totally awesome!
Just one look at Jerry Stiller and you're ready to laugh! And then you crack up no matter what he does!
"What are you doing, Dad?"
"What am I doing? I am going to the hobby shop to purchase a model airplane kit!"
Saleeby spits a mouthful of coffee all over the TV set!
"A model airplane kit?"
"I am going to assemble a plastic replica of the Fokker D-8 Triplane piloted by Baron Manfred Von Richtofen, the legendary Red Baron!"
Saleeby falls on the floor over the part about the Fokker D-8 Triplane, smashes the coffee table into a million pieces over the part about Baron Manfred Von Richtofen, and breaks a couple of ribs over the part about the legendary Red Baron.
A half hour later the EMT crew carries Saleeby into the ER. . .
"You don't quit watchin' dat 'King O' Queens' you gonna kill yo' crazy ass!"
"Thank you, Doctor Sanford!"
HELL YEAH Jerry Stiller is The Funniest Guy In The World!!! Every time I saw My Man Jerry on "Seinfeld" I'd go "How come this is a show about Jerry Seinfeld and not about JERRY STILLER!?! WHY!? WHY!?" Every time somebody on that show goes "JERRY!!!" I'm bummed out and disapointed that they're shouting at stupid Jerry Seinfeld instead of the delightful and entertaining Jerry Stiller. Why would anybody excitedly run into a room shouting "JERRY!!!" at Jerry Seinfeld's dead ass? Guy is a nobody! The show should have been called "Stiller" and about Jerry Stiller's hilarious Life with his annoying Wife and his loser Son George. George is funnier than Seinfeld, if the show was about Jerry Stiller we would still see as much of George as we did when it was about Jerry What's His Horse's Face. And Kramer, too! Jerry Stiller is Kramer's Buddy even more than Jerry Sign On The Dotted Line or whatever than weasel's name is. Remember when Jerry Stiller had a billiard table in his house and he and Kramer and that Maestro dude were rackin' em up? Maestro would have been on the show a lot more if it had been "Stiller" instead of "Cyclone" - He was in "Animal House"! Remember Maestro in "Animal House"? "A PLEDGE PIN!!!" When was Jerry Sideburns ever as funny as that guy? Shit! And Maestro was in that Twisted Sister video! Was Jerry Psycho ever in a Twisted Sister video? No! Jerry Cyclops is too "cool" to have ever been in a bad ass Metal video, muchless a Sonic commercial! And Jerry Stiller and Kramer developed Festivus together! You think Jerry Sizemore could ever come up with a Holiday as wacky as Festivus? No! He'd probably come up with a Holiday about Salsa.
"Because people like saying 'Salsa'!"
"That's it! That's the whole Holiday right there!"
No that's not it, Mister Go Out With An Under Age Girl And Steal Some Other Guy's Wife And Get Away With It All Because . . . I Don't Know, I'm From The South, You Try That Crap Down Here And We'll Kill You. Jerry Seinfeld - Drives me nuts! I'm gonna go stomp around in the parking lot and glare at everybody until I feel better . . .
So I like Jerry Stiller on "King Of Queens" a lot more than on "Steinberg". For one thing, the Wife on "King Of Kings" is really hot in some episodes and it's a real pleasure to see a fine babe on a Sit Com without being expected to believe that she would go out with slime like Jerry Minefield or that George imbecile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a drag that this doll is Married to Kevin James but at least Kevin James is A Traditional American Funny Man like Jackie Gleason with no Hipster Post Modern after taste. And then she gets all pregnant and stuff so you can pretend that you used to go out with her and then you dumped her before she put on all that weight and had to glom onto that fat UPS guy - Too bad, Mama! Yeah, I go off on some pretty crazy head trips watching these Sit Coms, don't get me started on the one where my Stand Up act worked out so I got hired to play Chandler on "Friends" and got Married to Courtney Cox in Real Life (Saleeby breaks down weeping). But THE BEST THING about "The King Of Queens" i s that Jerry Stiller is in EVERY EPISODE, usually with his own little sub plot. It's like every day is Festivus!
What makes Jerry Stiller so funny? He's OLD!!! Comedians, unlike Rock Stars, Strippers, and Bananas, get better as they get older. Look at The Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, Laurel And Hardy, etc. in those old Movies - Those guys are almost as old as Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney today! When I was a little kid in The Sixties we had HUNDREDS of really funny Comedians, guys who had been doing Comedy ever since The Spanish-American War (A very amusing conflict) and whose routines had been perfected by performing night after night after night year after year after year. But then they all died (The bad part about being Old) and we were stuck with a bunch of Baby Boomer Stand Up Comics who had only been performing at The Improv for two or three years - LAME! A Dark Age of Comedy began in which all the TV Comedy Shows were hosted by people like Sonny And Cher, Glenn Campbell, and Tony Orlando And Dawn. I tell you, if it wasn't for KISS we would have all gone berserk and eaten each other! That's why Bill Murray gets better and better, although after seeing the trailer for that Movie where he plays Franklin Roosevelt I feel even worse for Murray than I felt for Tommy Chong when I heard he has cancer. But the older a Comedian is the funnier he is. When Eddie Murphy was a teenager everybody thought he was The Funniest Guy In The World - We were still disoriented from all those Comedy Sketches with Sonny Bono and Jerry Reed. Now Murphy is Middle Aged and everybody wishes he would get run over with a truck. Everybody is driving around in a sixteen wheeler hoping they get to be The Lucky One. Me, I'd rather flatten Chris Rock but I'll take what I can get. But imagine how hysterical Eddie Murphy would be today if we were finding out about him for THE FIRST TIME after he has been work on his act for more than thirty years! That would be some FUNNY FUNNY "Daddy Day Care" shit!
"I'm GUMBY, dammit!"
"Were you always so funny, Gumby?"
"Oh, no! When I first started out all I did was yell about homosexuals."
"That doesn't sound very funny."
"I was young and insecure."
But Jerry Stiller was funny when I saw him on "The Ed Sullivan Show" nearly forty years ago and after all the years of hard work he has attained a level of Comic expertise the likes of which we have not seen since Pinky Slabowski as Arnold The Pig on "Green Acres". Jerry Stiller is a Comic treasure and he isn't going to be around much longer, if-you-know-what-I-mean. so let's enjoy him while we can. Gosh, wouldn't it be nice if we could say the same thing about Jimmy Fallon? That tool is so young we're going to have to put up with him for the rest of our lives and then the first few years that we're still trying to get used to being ghosts. And then HE'LL become a ghost and we'll NEVER get rid of him! Why can't he just go off to wherever Dave Chappelle went to?
What do you think America? Leave your comments on the Guestbook!
wrote for The National Lampoon while he was in high school, was a stand
up comic in New York, and has contributed to the net humor zines Schmuck.com,
Campaign Central, and the legendary American Jerk. He's on medication
now so he's probably a little nicer now than he was when you met him earlier.
Email - firstname.lastname@example.org
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