But who's funnier - Black comedians or White comedians? Once again I am tempted to go with the Black guys although I must admit to the same squeamish feeling I got pretending to like reggae music in the early eighties. Any list of funny Black comedians is going to be longer than one of funny White comedians, but why am I less enthusiastic about that than I was a couple of years ago? Could it be that when you take a few guys who were pretty good on "The Def Jam Comedy Hour" and put em in a big screen concert movie called "The Kings Of Comedy" they just come off looking like a bunch of dicks? Or the horrible realization that you've made as big a fool of yourself recommending Jamie Foxx's sit com to everybody as you did with Martin Lawrence's? At least "Martin" had the good sense to dump Garrett Morris after one season. Martin Lawrence! My God, Jamie Foxx will have to became a gay porn star to cause me as much embarassment as that purple assed baboon. People are telling me that Bernie Mac's new show is the greatest but, after suffering through the shows Steve Harvey, Cedric ( That's it - Just "Cedric", thank you very much ), and D.L. Hughley slapped together out of stuff they found in the dumpster outside the "Married With Children" studio I don't give a fuck. Besides, if I start talking to people about a third sit com featuring a foul mouthed Black guy, my friends will have me electrocuted.

But enough of all this negativity, who is my favorite Black comedian these days? Why, David Alan Grier, of course! You thought after reading the headline to this thing I was gonna say Bill Bellamy? What is it about David Alan Grier that makes him so much funnier than the average stand up comic? Well, having never been a stand up certainly helps. When I was a little kid I read an interview with Stan Laurel, a comedian from the old days when comedians were actually "funny", in which the comic master opined that if a young man wanted to become a comedian he should join a local theater group, play a lot of roles, study Shakespeare . . . Boy, if you think that sounds dumb now, just imagine how it went over back in the seventies when pushing your lawn mower in straight lines was artsy fartsy enough to get invited to that Friday's midnight screening of "Pink Flamingos" by the scarey guy down the street who'd just gotten kicked out of the Navy. I mean, become an "actor" to become a comedian? What kinda nineteenth century crap was that? Hey, Stan Laurel! I wanna be a jet fighter pilot! Whaddaya want I should do? Learn how to fly a hot air ballon? If you didn't have that big greasy Oliver Hardy dude hangin' around all the time I'd kick your silly ass all the way back to England! Theater - Sheesh! Don't he know that Lenny Bruce and Elvis Presley gave their lives so one day we could all be free from that Dog And Pony nonsense? You never saw John Belushi or Bill Murray lining up to audition for "The Crucible" when they were kids, right? Right? Stand up is the way to become a comedian in the Modern World, right?

What a drag to report that, once again, the Old Dead White Males knew of what they spake - John Belushi and Bill Murray, the two funniest White Males of the late twentieth century (One Dead the other Old), both got their start as teen thespians on the amateur stage and so did David Alan Grier. So, speaking as a little old man who has wasted entirely too much of his life sitting around in comedy clubs full of idiots trying to drink enough beer to make the whole thing bearable - You wanna be a Funny Boy, go be a goddamn actor. The morons you will have to put up with can't possibly be as moronistical than the ones you will have stuffed down your throat as a stand up comic and you'll come off a lot more high class talkin' to de ladies about Moliere and Chekhov than you will about Sam Kinison or Rodney Dangerfield.

Cause David Alan Grier is sophisticated like nobody's business! I could not believe the stuff I was finding out about Grier while researching this article. I thought my computer was accidentally giving me search engine results for the little flit who plays Niles on "Frasier". Not only does Grier have a high school diploma, but he's also got a Bachelor Of Arts In Radio, Television, And Film from the University Of Michigan! Shit, I couldn't get accepted by the Michigan Militia if I brought in my own semiautomatic weapons! But that wasn't enough book learnin' for David Alan Grier - He had a hunger for knowledge and culture as insatiable as Bill Clinton at an apple pie eating contest on the Fourth Of July and went on to earn his Masters from the Yale School Of Drama. YALE! Can you believe that? I can't even begin to imagine what that place even looks like - I close my eyes, think "Yale", and all I see are security goons telling me to get the hell outta there. I'm just glad he didn't go to Harvard cause I have already made a blood vow to murder the next comedy big shit that comes out of that place and I'd hate for it to be someone I like as much as Grier. (Jimmy Fallon, God! Please make it be Jimmy Fallon!)

It just gets crazier and crazier - Grier went Straight Outta New Haven to starring on Broadway in "The First", a musical about Jackie Robinson. Well, if we've just gotta have show tunes they might as well be show tunes about baseball, right? But I'm pretty sure Billy Crystal has already beat that premise to death so let's just keep moving . . . Then Grier was in Michael Benner's "Showgirls". Who the hell is Michael Bennet? This is all so new and magical to me! Ooooh, and there's a whole orchestra up in front of the stage where nobody can see it! But Grier's no candy ass chorus boy, after all those musicals he still had the testosterone to star in "A Soldier's Play" with Denzel Washington, The Most Sullen Lump O' Nothin' That Ever Was! I bet Denzel hated Grier - "How can you make jokes when Jack Nicholson and William Hurt are getting all the nominations?! How!? How!?". Then they all marched off to star in "A Soldier's Story", the movie version of "A Soldier's Play". Hey, how come they didn't call it "A Soldier's Movie"? You know, like "The Muppet Movie". They could have had a big scary Muppet in it instead of that Denzel Washington asshole. Yeah, I shoulda been a movie producer.

Grier finally quit wasting his time on that silly theatuh nonsense and settled down to really work for a living when he joined the cast of Keenan Ivory Wayans' "In Living Color". Wayans' sketch show was always presented as a Black "Saturday Night Live" which, considering that "Saturday Night Live" was mired in it's Dennis Miller-Jon Lovitz-Kevin Nealon phase at the time, wasn't just setting the bar really low, it was digging a really really really deep hole, throwing the bar in, and the burying it. But "In Living Color" was a reliably fun and entertaining show no matter what you compared it to and will probably prove to be the best thing we'll ever get out of anybody named Wayans no matter how many chances they get while people named Saleeby never get to do anything but walk around with their hands in their pockets mumbling under their breath. Grier first worked with Wayans in his really funny "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" feature film and wisely stuck with him to become the Internationally Worshipped And Adored Comedy Titan that he is today. After Damon Wayans - who for quite a while there was the funniest man on television, which makes watching "My Wife And Kids" today a uniquely disturbing experience by even network sit com standards -, Grier was the funniest guy on "In Living Color" and it is hardly necessary to catalogue the millions of hilarious characters he played on the show such as Antione Meriweather the gay film critic, Calhoun Tubbs the ancient blues singer, Louis Armstrong with two boxes of Kellogs Special K cereal on the ends of his legs instead of feet, Wil Forbis the men's room peeper - Okay, okay, I'm making it all up. Bein' bad news is what I'm all about, I went to the Improv and I got thrown out!

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John Saleeby wrote for The National Lampoon while he was in high school, was a stand up comic in New York, and has contributed to the net humor zines Schmuck.com, Campaign Central, and the legendary American Jerk. He's on medication now so he's probably a little nicer now than he was when you met him earlier. Email - jacksaleeby1@hotmail.com

View John Saleeby's crazy web log!

Meet some other Interesting Motherfuckers: Ray Walston by John Saleeby From My Favorite Martian to Mr. Hand. Mitch Hedberg by John Saleeby The last of the comedy greats! Al Jafee by Wil Forbis Mad Magazine's cartoon master. GG Allin by Wil Forbis Even punks loathed the performer who pushed past the bouderies. David Allan Coe by Wil Forbis Country's obscene outlaw walks the line. Bernie Casey by John Saleeby The blaxploitation star who rose from the ghetto of professional football. Bret Easton Ellis by Tom Waters Peruse the critical overview and interview with the fiction superstar. Phil Lynott by Wil Forbis Thin Lizzy's frontman rose from the streets of Ireland to the heights of rock stardom and then descended into the pit of drug abuse. Louis CK by Sean C Tarry Marvel at this stand up's ability to phrase the opposite of every song. Sho Kosugi by Wil Forbis Fear the power of the Ninja! Fear it, Bitch! Bill Hicks by Cody Wayne The mind expanding comedian gets his due. Warren Zevon by Xander Horlyk A literary look at "a moralist in cynic's clothing." Pam Grier by John Saleeby Sweet Christmas! It's the queen of blaxploitation, Foxy Brown herself! Jack Webb by John Saleeby When he created the elite police unit of "Dragnet," Jack Webb laid the first blow against the scourge of America: Hippies! Doris Wishman by Wil Forbis The prolific adult film maker, whose work includes the classic Chesty Morgan movies, is probed and prodded. Dave Thomas by John Saleeby Wendy's Dave Thomas was all about Biggie Fries, Frosties and love. Spike Milligan by John Saleeby Read up on the life of the British comedy scribe. Toshiro Mifune by Wil Forbis The Japanese actor who slashed his way through a thousand samurai movies. Nina Hagen by Wil Forbis The Wagnerian Banshee who created the blueprint for punk/funk/opera. Bob and Tommy Stinson by John Saleeby Get to know the real talents of eighties punk sensations, The Replacements. Tom Savini by John Saleeby The king of latex gore. And there's even more on our main page!

Additional David Alan Grier stuff: In Living Color: Here's an in depth look at the show that brought Grier to the forefront. Ten Question Interview with Grier From the proud Americans at sportshollywood.com.