The Buzzcocks’ “Singles Going Steady” is the overlooked Classic British Punk Album. Everybody’s heard of The Sex Pistols and The Clash but how many of you know about The Buzzcocks? Huh? You thought you were COOL until this Article came along, didn’t you? But now you feel like DIRT because . . . No, don’t kill yourself! You haven’t heard “Singles Going Steady” yet! Buy “Singles Going Steady”, listen to it, and THEN kill yourself! Cause I want to make a difference in your Life. No, I’m just kidding. If you are thinking about killing yourself and you listen to “Singles Going Steady” you won’t want to kill yourself anymore. It is THAT good! On the other hand, if you aren’t thinking about killing and you listen to “Singles Going Steady” you WILL want to kill yourself. Yes! It REALLY is that good! Seriously, reading Acid Logic is a really bad idea if you are considering Suicide. Cause we don’t give a crap about you. You think guys as nice as The Buzzcocks grow on trees?

The Buzzcocks are the perfect antidote to a current affliction currently afflicting the Rock Music Shitheads of our time - Rock Music Shitheadness! Symptoms - 1) Failure To Lose Interest In Tom Petty. 2) Still Trying To Figure Out What That Damn Fool In The Black Crowes says after “Hey, Little Thing, Let Me Light Your Candle Cause, Mama, I’m-a Something Something Something Whatever Whatever Whatever” 3) Listening To That Guy From Motley Crue’s Radio Show. Wow, did Howard Stern create a vacuum when he went to Sirius or what? 4) Thing About Killing Yourself. Well, don’t do it! Get “Singles Going Steady”! I’ve been listening to it for THIRTY SIX YEARS and I’m still Alive and Kicking! Kicking myself for dropping out of College, I mean.

A little Buzzcocks Biographical Information to fill up the page and create the illusion of being “Literature” - The Buzzcocks were formed in England during the Seventies Punk Brouhaha by Pete Shelley and Howard Devoto until Howard Devoto was no longer in The Buzzcocks and Pete Shelley became the Lead Singer instead of whatever he was doing while Howard Devoto was Singing, probably going “Hey, let me do some Singing, Howard!” I’ve Written so many silly Comedy Routines about this phase of The Buzzcocks’ career that I’m Producing a Broadway Musical entitled either “Howard, Let Me Sing!” or “Pete, Shut The Hell Up!”. I see the Gay Guy from “How I Met Your Mom” as Howard and the Gay Guy from “The Big Bang Theory” as Pete and I think I’ve drunk too much Cold Medicine. ANYWAY . . . Howard Devoto quit to start a Magazine. Oh, he started a Band? I heard he started a Magazine. Oh, he started a BAND called MAGAZINE! Well, at least he didn’t start a BAND called WEB ZINE! HA! I’m gonna have a Good Time no matter what Reality says! Devoto is currently the Star of the popular TV Comedy Show “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”. Oh, that’s guy named DEVITO? Can we stop talking about Howard Devoto now? This is exhausting! No wonder Pete Shelley got tired of his crazy shit!

“Howard Devoto? That guy is TROUBLE!” - Axl Rose

Pete Shelley is an Awesome Dude ( Giggles) but The Buzzcocks’ Guitar Player Steve Diggles is a real Rock And Roll Bad Ass. This guy is so Hard Core Joe Walsh makes the kind of jokes about him that everybody makes about Joe Walsh. By the way, Joe, please stop sending all those Steve Diggles jokes to Acid Logic. They aren’t that funny. Steve is mostly known as The Guy Who Snorted Up All Of Kurt Cobain’s Cocaine. To make a Long Story Short - Steve Diggles snorted up all of Kurt Cobain’s Cocaine and, Boy, did Kurt Cobain get MAD! I probably could have thrown a few jokes in there but after all the Steve Diggles Snorted Up All Of Kurt Cobain’s Cocaine jokes I’ve heard from Joe Walsh I’ve kind of lost my sense of Humor on the subject. Cocaine is no laughing matter and snorting another man’s cocaine can get you killed if that man is Cuban. Fortunately for Steve Diggles that man wasn’t Cuban, he was Cobain! “That’s a Saleeby joke! That’s not one of my jokes!” Fuck you, Joe Walsh! What’s My Favorite Song on “Singles Going Steady”? “Ever Fallen In Love With Someone That You Shouldn’t Have Fallen In Love With?” Oh yeah, great Song. But it reminds me too much of when I saw Bai Ling’s Nude Shower Scene in “The Crow” and spent ten years in Prison for breaking into her House and . . . What other Songs on “Singles Going Steady” do I like? “Oh, Shit!” is good but reminds me too much of when the Judge hit me with that ten year sentence. How about “Something Goes Wrong Again”? That’s good but reminds me too much of when Bai caught me hiding in her Medicine Cabinet. Okay, forget about John Saleeby, let’s do a Man On The Street Interview about “Singles Going Steady”!

“What’s your Favorite Song on ‘Singles Going Steady’?”
“‘Stairway To Heaven’!”
“GET OUTTA HERE!! What’s your Favorite Song on ‘Singles Going Steady’?”
“‘Janie’s Got A Gun’!”
“YOU ASSHOLE!!! What’s your Favorite Song on ‘Singles Going Steady’?”
“‘Give Me All Your Lovin’’!”
“GODDAMMIT!!”
“‘All your hugs and kisses, too!’”
“SHIT!!!”
“‘Don’t give up until you’re through!’”
“Yeah, that is pretty cool.”

John Saleeby wrote for The National Lampoon while he was in high school, was a stand up comic in New York, and has contributed to the net humor zines Schmuck.com, Campaign Central, and the legendary American Jerk. He's on medication now so he's probably a little nicer now than he was when you met him earlier. Email - jacksaleeby1@hotmail.com