Saving Silverman

“Saving Silverman” is FUNNY. There may have been a Time when we had so many funny Comedy Movies that we could afford to be picky (“What, ANOTHER Laurel And Hardy Move!? SHIT!”) but these days watching a Comedy Movie and laughing out loud instead of squawking “My parents' cats are funnier than these idiots!” is as rare as Music that doesn’t make you wish we had a War to get all the Teenagers blown up in.

I should begin with the Plot of “Saving Silverman” but I should be doing my Taxes too. And cleaning up my Apartment. The Plot of “Saving Silverman” is even more of a mess than my Kitchen but at least I can’t smell it. The Story - Jack Black, Steve Zahn, and Jason Biggs are Wacky Roomies with a Stinky Kitchen and a Neil Diamond Cover Band until Biggs (As “Silverman”) ruins everything by falling in Love with Amanda Peete so Black and Zahn decide to kill her. WHOA! Good Thing it’s a COMEDY! Dudes who are incapable of behaving like Adult Men are a recurring theme in Comedies these days and I will be doing a detailed analysis of this trend as soon as I complete building a Statue of Amanda Peete out of my boogers.

“Saving Silverman” features Jack Black at his Funniest. Yeah, for quite a while there that Lovable Lil’ Fat Guy was The Funniest Man In The World! That didn’t last very long but at least Jack Black was The Funniest Man In The World longer than that Zach asshole from “The Hangover” Movies was. Hell, I’m so old I remember when Gabe Kaplan was The Funniest Man In The World! But “Saving Silverman” is The Best Jack Black Movie - Unless you consider that “King Kong” remake to be a Jack Black Movie. And DON’T let King Kong know that you consider that to be a Jack Black Movie. If King Kong finds out that you consider his Movie to be a Goddam Jack Black Movie he will take you up to the top of the Empire State Building and throw you all the way to New Jersey. Is that what happened to Jack Black?

Amanda Peete is spectacularly sexy in “Saving Silverman” but this is not a very sexy Movie. You look at Peete in “Saving Silverman” and just make dirty jokes about what you’d like to do to her. Which is a lot more fun than the usual “Sexy Babe In A Movie” situation when you look at her, think about what you’d like to do to her, and get just get depressed. There’s another beautiful Woman in the Movie named Amanda Something Or Another - I dunno, she seems to have disappeared. I know she was in the first “Final Destination” Movie, remember the chick who got hit by a Bus? Yeah, that was her. Maybe that’s what happened to the Poor Girl - They were shooting “Final Destination” and when she just happened to get hit by a Bus while the Cameras were running they decided to put it in the Final Movie. Yeah! She was supposed to be the one to Survive but - Hey, sometimes you’ve got to IMPROVISE! Anybody who ever said Jason Biggs is The Funniest Guy In The World has a Girlfriend made out of a case of Hostess Fruit Pies squished together into the shape of a Cheerleader. Biggs has been in a million Movies but is still best known as “The Guy Who Had Sex With A Pie” in “American Pie”. He was in a Woody Allen Movie and I do not want to know what he did that Movie. No. But Biggs is tolerable in “Saving Silverman” because he plays “The Normal Guy” in a Movie full of Maniacs. “The Normal Guy” in a Comedy Movie is usually pretty boring except for the early Jerry Lewis Movies when “The Normal Guy” is played by Dean Martin. Remember the Days when America was full of Normal Guys like Dean Martin? Where have you gone, Joe Dimaggio?

Steve Zahn used to be a Comedy Guy but now he seems to be trying to be a Serious Actor. I imagine him at all the Auditions pretending to have never heard of “Saving Silverman” - “‘Saving Silverman’? What? Who? Me? I was in ‘Saving Private Ryan’! I was the Nazi who took off his Helmet and threw it at Tom Sizemore when I ran out of ammunition!”. And then he takes off his hat and throws it at somebody. The last Time I saw Zahn his head got chopped off in a Vietnam POW Camp Movie called “Rescue Dawn” - “Yeah! And I was in ‘Rescue Dawn’!”. And then he takes off his head and throws it at somebody. You GO, Steve Zahn!

Oh, Hey - Neil Diamond is in “Saving Silverman”! He gets hit by a Bus. Not really, but he probably wished he got hit by a Bus when he saw “Saving Silverman”. He thought he was going to be in “Saving Private Ryan”. They hired Ted Danson instead of you, Neil!

And DIRECTED BY DENNIS DUGAN
Or is it “DOOGAN”?
“DOOGIN”?
Who the Hell cares?

John Saleeby wrote for The National Lampoon while he was in high school, was a stand up comic in New York, and has contributed to the net humor zines Schmuck.com, Campaign Central, and the legendary American Jerk. He's on medication now so he's probably a little nicer now than he was when you met him earlier. Email - mailto:goon61_@hotmail.com

Dude, partake of some other Motherfucking Masterpieces! Iggy Pop's "Party" by John Saleeby With the arrival of the 80's, Iggy Pop turned to one man to resurrect his career: Ivan Kral! Heavy Metal by Wil Forbis This animated film from the 80's had more naked alien chicks than you could shake a phallicized laser pistol at. Scanners by Johnny Apocalypse Was Scanners a parable about out of control corporations or just an excuse to show exploding heads? Repo Man by Wil Forbis Packed with dead aliens, punk rock angst and Harry Dean Stanton in the role of his career, Alex Cox's cinematic masterpiece defined the term "cult film." RoboCop by John Saleeby Peter Weller shines as the clanking crimefighter in need of axel grease. Falling Down by Wil Forbis The final defense of the angry white male. Office Space by Wil Forbis Mike Judge, creator of Beavis and Butthead, satirizes the modern deskjob. Mr. Bungle by Wil Forbis The maniacal album that inspired tens, even dozens of musicians to become agro/metal/funk fanatics. Remember the clowns! Body Count by Cody Wayne Ice-T's hardcore metal group, famous for their ode to cop killin', get their due. John Carpenter's "The Thing" by Cody Wayne John Carpenter redefined the horror genre with his study of arctic isolation and shape shifting aliens. And here's more!