Directed by James Eaves
Written by James Eaves
Starring Sally Reeve, Claudia Coulter, Jonathan Sidgwick, Jason Tompkins
Produced by James Eaves
The return of the British vampire movie! Or so says the box
breathlessly. I confess that British cinema can be downright
entertaining--I've seen enough BBC America to have at least some
understanding on that point. So I confess further that I was definitely
interested in The Witches Hammer when I got a copy from MTI.
The Witches Hammer posits an unexpected vampire who is trained by a
coven of witches to go forth and kill herself a whole slew of vampires.
No glitter, no whining and no stupid teenage girls here, folks, just a
whole lot of bloodsuckers getting blasted. But the plot our vampire
vampire killer finds herself neck deep in is a whole lot more
complicated than she ever expected.
There are a lot of fantastic sequences here, lots of jumping around
that actually makes things a bit scarier for the fact that you only get
a brief glimpse of what it is you're SEEING in those jumps. And there
are plenty of nifty asides for those who watch carefully--see if you
can catch at least two Star Wars references on the poster at the circus!
And, there will even manage to be a few laughs in all this! About the
only thing stopping this from being a full on four star title is the
fact that I'm not hugely into vampires. But if you like vampire
movies, this one should blow your mind.
The ending will bring some really impressive surprises and twists, so
pay a little bit of attention and you'll be well rewarded.
The special features include a making of featurette, a sound
documentary with score featurette, a blooper reel and trailers for The
Witches Hammer, Metamorphosis, Lost Treasure of the Maya and Albino
All in all, this is one seriously impressive vampire action horror
comedy movie. Anyone with a bad taste in their mouth from Twilight
should definitely check this one out.
Legend of the Bog
Directed by Brendan Foley
Written by Brendan Foley
Starring Vinnie Jones, Jason Barry, Nora Jane Noone, Adam Fogerty
Produced by Joe Condren, Paul Valentine, Peter Burrell, Brendan Foley
Legend of the Bog is one of those strange movies that's really
rather tough to talk about. As you can see above, it's a clear two
star but mostly because on the whole it's rather unspectacular.
Basically, the plot deals with things called "bog bodies", which are a
kind of two thousand year old corpse that's been preserved in peat
bogs. The things float to the surface every so often, or are disturbed
by farming or development or similar such what have you. This time
around, one of these well-preserved corpses comes back to life to get
some payback on the folks that brought it up, and whoever else happens
to get in the way.
The strange thing about Legend of the Bog is that it contains a whole
lot of deaths, but only a handful of them are actually caused by the
bog body. The rest, meanwhile, are caused by random accidents caused
by desperation and / or sheer stupidity.
It's hard to get behind a horror flick where most of the targets kill
themselves off, because it's so very unfulfilling. The whole point of
a horror movie is to get some kind of monster to kill off people and
get the people to band together to kill off the monster, not have a
whole bunch of people do idiotic stuff and kill THEMSELVES off as
though they're all in a mad dash to try and win the Irish equivalent of
the Darwin award.
It's a fair enough concept--we've had bog monsters before, and bog
monsters that just happen to be enormous, well-preserved Irishmen works
out all right for the most part. But since so many of the cast dies
off because of a combination of accidents and their own stupidity
there's a serious loss of satisfaction here.
The ending is marginally satisfying if for no other reason than they
manage to kill off the bog monster--it's really sort of a foregone
conclusion so it's not really a spoiler.
The special features include your choice of English or Spanish
subtitles, and trailers for Know Thy Enemy, Harder They Fall, Never
Surrender, Octane, and Legend of the Bog.
All in all, Legend of the Bog isn't exactly the best horror movie
you'll see this week, but there's vastly worse, and if you're looking
for something a bit out of the ordinary this may well prove useful.