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By
Wil Forbis
Jan 1 2002
Aside from being the author of the popular drug confessional,
"Permanent Midnight," Jerry Stahl has
the questionable honor of being the man who penned this
sentence: His mother's ankles felt like hot salamis
as Tony Zank held her out the rest home window.
It's in his new book, "Plainclothes Naked,"
a novel filled to the brim with seedy crack addicts,
husband murdering trollops, Keystone Kops and sharp
crime noir dialogue that lies somewhere between Jack
Thompson and Charles Bukowski. Jerry stopped by the
virtual acid logic offices to discuss his books, the
drug film genre and the ever popular scrotum of President
Bush.
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Wil:
Memoirs of personal anguish such as "The Kiss," "Drinking:
A Love Story" and your "Permanent Midnight" have gotten
much acclaim over the past few years. Is there any fear
that authors are starting to simply cash in on their
misfortune? Does a great writer with a wonderful childhood
have a harder time getting published than a mediocre
writer who was abused by the family priest?
Jerry:
Well, if a writer had a happy childhood, in today's
Oprah-esque environment, that in itself could be considered
tragic - denying he or she the dramatic onrush of feeling,
prose and sympathy - not to mention possible Lifetime
Network tie-in - a more 'dysfunctional' childhood might
help facilitate. As for mediocre writers cashing in,
what can I say? There were mediocre writers on the bestseller
list before the so called memoir craze, and they will
remain there long afterward....
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Wil:
I know you're a fan of Hubert Selby, Junior. I'm interested
in what you thought of the film version of "Requiem
for a Dream?"
Jerry:
Anything that enables Hubert Selby Junior, at the ripe
age of seventy, to be vindicated by the cosmos and receive
a standing ovation at Cannes is okay with me. This is
a man who, ten years after writing one of the greatest
novels in American literature, had to pump gas and hustle
change to survive. So fuck it, the movie was wonderful.
The man's paid more dues than twenty men should have
to, and I'm really thrilled for him.
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Wil:
I really enjoyed the film version of the short story
collection, "Jesus' Son." Like "Permanent Midnight,"
it followed through to the character's recovery and
came to the conclusion that even without drugs, life
can be pretty trippy.
Jerry:
I absolutely loved Denis Johnnson's book, and the movie,
too. Whereas the movie of "Permanent Midnight" - much
as I dig it, I didn't write it - made me, how can I
put this... a different kind of asshole (among other
things) than I was in the book (and real life), the
film of "Jesus' Son" actually took off from the amazing
book and become even more amazing in its own way. I
can't praise Denis Johnson or (director) Alison Maclean
enough. A rare instance where book and movie were both
masterpieces. My other favorite drug movie - because,
of course, it's about so much more than drugs - was
Cronenberg's "Dead Ringers," with Jeremy Irons
as twin gynocologist-dilaudid fiends.
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Wil:
Did you ever have any concern after the success of the
film version of "Permanent Midnight" that you might
end up actually encouraging a few people to take drugs?
After all, Ben Stiller with his leather-jacketed nihilism
really did a great job of embodying the male heroin
chic.
Jerry:
If puking on your shoes and making an asshole out of
yourself serves as some kind of lure to drug abuse,
then what can I say? Long before Ben slimed across the
screen in sweaty leather, Keith and Miles and Lenny
and Bird were around shooting dope and looking cool.
So please. You flatter me, but, in the grand pantheon
of junkie cool, the character of "Jerry Stahl" is a
footnote to narco-history.
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 Wil:
In your new book, "Plainclothes Naked," the lead character,
Manny Rubert, turns out to be well equipped with a large
penis while the main villain, Tony Zank, carries around
a barely noticeable piece he can hardly get stiff. Aren't
you reinforcing the 'big dick', alpha-male politics
that have given us four thousand years of war and aggression?
To paraphrase Martin Luthor King Jr., will we ever reach
the point where we can judge a man not by the size of
his penis, but by the content of his character?
Jerry:
If you read the book closely, you'd see it's just the
opposite. The man's got a big dick and it's the bane
of his existence. He can't stand the kind of woman who
find it appealing, and does everything he can to drive
such ladies away. The idea actually came to me because
of the non-stop daily barrage of "ENLARGE YOUR PENIS!"
spam that splatters across my computer screen - and
that of every human with a computer I know - indiscriminately
assuming that a legion of dick-shamed American are skulking
around out there looking for a solution. It's a joke.
I guess you didn't get it.
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Wil:
I know you've answered this question before but I wanted
to take a different slant with it - One of the key elements
of "Plainclothes Naked" is a picture of George Bush's
scrotum. Any fears that the recent turn of events in
Afghanistan will take the wind out of your sales? After
all, those testicles are riding an 80% approval rating.
Jerry:
Yeah, I'm sure it could take a bite out of sales. Then
again, the kind of people who buy my books probably
aren't members of that eighty percent anyway. Look,
I've always been outré, always been a cult figure, outside
the realms of confines of Quality Lit-ville. The New
York and LA Times won't even review my books (the latter
despite the fact that this novel has shown up on their
bestseller list) so George W's popularity is the least
of it...
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Wil:
It seemed to me that you were attacking the President
without really criticizing him. Certainly there are
some very legitimate reasons to lambaste the President
(e.g. his questionable ascension to the Office or his
inability to form a coherent sentence) but while reading
your book and having this comical image of him thrust
into my head, I kind of felt sorry for the guy.
Jerry: You may be right. He's a hapless little guy.
Daddy bought him a race car. Now he thinks he's A.J.
Foyt. As do, oddly enough, much of the mainstream media-spoonfed
public.
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Wil:
Your first published book was turned into a film and
I know there's been interest in some of your other work.
When you're writing now, do you mentally weed out any
thought of a film version of what you're working on,
or do you embrace that possibility? Do you speculate
on certain actors playing your characters?
Jerry:
Fuck no. I never think about that. And there is in fact
none of my other work being considered for the screen,
big or little. Showtime sat on "Perv" for a year, then
came to their senses and changed their mind. "Plainclothes"
isn't even the ballpark. Like you say, I'm bucking a
national trend here. What studio would want to go anywhere
near that? If I were a movie-savvy guy, I wouldn't be
writing what I'm writing. Unless I was a complete idiot.
(Always a possibility... )
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Wil:
If President Bush called you up and asked, as one reformed
drug user to another, for your opinion on the scourge
of drug abuse in America, what would you pass on? (Granted,
after "Plainclothes Naked," this is a pretty unlikely
scenario.)
Jerry:
Well, Junior's no stranger to a straw up his nose, perhaps
he'll give me a jingle some day. In any event, I don't
preach. I can only tell you my experience, and those
of people I know. Which is, simply put, drugs are the
symptom, not the problem. But there's so much money
to be made off of the quote unquote "war on drugs,"
that only a moron would think it's about trying to eradicate
drugs anyway. Drugs are big business. And big business
always wins.
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presents...