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By
Wil Forbis
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You want archives motherfucker? Check
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It's interesting to note that Billy Preston's "I Wrote a Simple Song" is not all that simple itself. It's got a pretty elaborate orchestral and horn section.
But maybe that's the point.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
I have to concede, happily, that the results of yesterday's primaries seem to indicate that my sense of the damage done to Obama's campaign by Jeremiah Wright was overblown. And thinking about those primaries led me down another interesting mental path. The general presumption is that this ongoing neck and neck race between Clinton and Obama is bad for Obama because once the dust settles he'll only have a few months to make his case against McCain. But I think the timing allows Obama to flake off what could otherwise be damaging political attacks. Take this Wright business. Hillary took her best shot with that and it looks like it might have failed. If McCain brings it up two or three months from now people will say, "Haven't we already settled this?" In essence, Hillary is shooting the bullets in McCain's gun (sickos could possibly read some strange sexual imagery into that sentence, but not me.) And, in a sense, McCain is hindered right now because he doesn't have a target to attack. And when he finally has one, he'll only have a few months to fire away. Frankly, if I didn't know any better, I'd say this endless fight for the nomination is brilliant strategy on the part of the Democratic Party.
But we are talking about the Democratic Party.
Had an interesting celebrity sighting this weekend. I walked into one of my favorite Mexican places for lunch and, while peering into the second dining room, noticed chubby, balding tongue-in-cheek pop star Har Mar superstar. Like David Coverdale, I actually have a few friends in common with the guy, and briefly considered going over to introduce myself but figured the last thing he wanted to be bothered with over lunch was pesky fans. Besides, I noticed he had a rather attractive young lady with him.
So I sit and eat my lunch and eventually both Har Mar and his lady friend get up to leave. His girlfriend goes to the bathroom and then as she walks out she says something to the bartender in a voice that sounds very familiar to me. I look up and see who it is. Drew fucking Barrymore!
So the real question is whether Har Mar is banging Barrymore. Keep in mind she was married to Tom Green, so she's got a thing for dorky guys.
Monday, May 05, 2008
I freely confess I kept my mouth shut during the initial brushfires prompted by the Jeremiah Wright/Obama controversy because there didn't seem to be a whole lot I could say that wasn't already being said. Obama gave a much lauded speech separating himself from Wright's views while professing a certain loyalty to the man himself and the flames seemed to die down for a while. Then Wright reignited the embers last week in his infamous press club appearance where he made clear that he in no way rescinded his beliefs, and in fact he mildly chastised Obama for playing politics.
At the time, I had a sense that this truly damaged Obama, perhaps beyond repair. I've read numerous commentators take a soft line against Wright, with some sort of comment like, "aside from his views that white people created AIDS as a conspiracy against the black race, much of what he says is quite reasonable" and I find it flabbergasting. Wright's AIDS conspiracy nonsense isn't a footnote to the problem; it is the problem! Because it's completely fucking INSANE. (Besides, everyone knows white people created AIDS to wipe out the homos, not the blacks.) Many guilty white liberals and black commentators seem to act as if we should just roll our eyes and chuckle when Wright spouts off such bullshit, because who are we to judge a man who might have become unhinged after a lifetime of racism? But sorry, that doesn't fly. Only an idiot or a maniac could seriously make such charges and they deserve to be called out. (Not that these allegations are anything new for me --- when I worked at a car wash in the mid-90s, many of the black dudes I worked with flirted with similar charges, and I called them on it is well.)
The conventional wisdom is that this damages Obama because white, latently racist voters in the Midwest hear something about Obama saying AIDS is caused by white people and they vote for Hillary. But I think there's a bigger problem. If Obama can't get his supposed friend and preacher in line how's he going to handle the president of Iran, or Russia or China? If Hillary Clinton's preacher started talking nonsense he'd show up week later in a suitcase missing a head. This fiasco fuels the charges that Obama is most susceptible to --- that he's too inexperienced, two green to play political hardball.
Don't get me wrong, he's still the best pick out of the three candidates we've got before us. But this is a real blow.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: MY ACID LOGIC BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!!!
Folks, my new book, "Acid Logic: a Decade of Humorous Writing on Pop Culture, Trash Cinema and Rebel Music" is now available from fine Internet booksellers, brick-and-mortar bookstores and the author himself!
What is "Acid Logic"? Why its 288 pages of humorous writing on film, music and the world we live in. It's celebrity profiles, feature writing, interviews and fiction. We need look no further than the back cover blurb for more details!
"From the pages of Acidlogic.com, underground author Wil Forbis collects his most provocative, most shocking and funniest material into one volume! Gasp at comic essays on the impending threat of cloning and the commodified brilliance of the blaxploitation film movement. Swoon over profiles of the entertainment industry's most eccentric stars, from adult film auteur Doris Wishman to ninja actor Sho Kosugi to shock punk GG Allin. Thrill to interviews with cultural stalwarts like hard rock drummer Rikki Rockett, actor Curtis "Booger" Armstrong and horror director Stuart Gordon. Squeal with delight at fiction ranging from the horrifying to the absurd. THE ACID LOGIC REVOLUTION HAS ARRIVED!!!"
But that's not all! Here's what some fellow writers have to say about my work:
"Wil is a cynic's cynic, but in the depths of his filthy black heart he hasn't forgotten how to love. Or how to write."
Mike Daisey, monologuist ("How Theater Failed America") and author ("21 Dog Years: Doing Time @ Amazon.com ")
"Forbis has that rare thing, an open mind, with tons of random stuff flowing through it, and a crow's eye for the glittering oddities of pop culture."
John Richardson, author "My Father the Spy," "In the Little World"
"It's nice to see that not every talented young writer has forsaken webzines for blogs. Sure, he's also blogging (quite entertainingly), but Wil Forbis also has a zine that looks very spiffy."
Daniel Radosh, author "Rapture Ready!: Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture."
"If any sense is going to be made of a culture dominated by a violent movies, noisy music and silly TV shows, it's going to come from guys like Wil Forbis who like violent movies, noisy music and silly TV shows."
John Saleeby, contributor "National Lampoon," "Classic Rock" magazines.
"Whether it's pop culture, music, or most terrifying of all to me, films, there's one man out there ripping it all up. Wil Forbis is the triple threat of the internet, and anyone who's writing online should be watching their rearview mirror in white-knuckled panic for the lunatic generalissimo of the website no one wanted to know existed--Acid Logic."
Steve Anderson, columnist "Reel Advice From the Video Store Guy"
So how do you get yourself a copy? You can order from Amazon by clicking the following link:
http://www.amazon.com/Acid-Logic-Humorous-Writing-Culture/dp/1434357007/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209704613&sr=8-1
You can also order a copy direct from the publisher:
http://www.authorhouse.com/bookstore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=47272
(Hint: it's slightly cheaper from AuthorHouse.com, unless you have Amazon prime or qualify for Amazon super saver shipping (orders of $25 or more.)) Barnes & Noble coming soon.
AND, if you're in the Los Angeles area, or plan to be, hit me up directly and I can get you a copy of the book at the publisher price ($12) without any additional postage costs. I'm not in this for the money, folks. I just want to bring the joy of acid logic to your life. Just e-mail forbisthemighty@hotmail.com or track me down in person etc.
Over the next few months I'll be working on a website for the book and other goodies. If you fine people have any ideas on places to promote, or bookshops that might be interested in retailing the book I'd love to hear them.
Sincerely,
Wil Forbis
www.acidlogic.com
A couple months ago I was at a local bar on a Sunday night watching a bluesy kind of folky singer. He started out his set with an antiwar song that was just horrible. Not horrible because it was antiwar, horrible because of its lack of any memorable melody, it's cliché chord progressions, and predictable lyrics. And as he ended the song, he seem to give a look across the room as if to say, "if you don't applaud, that means you're for the war!"
Now frankly, I was expecting everyone to clap --- this bar is kind of left-wing. But the response was tepid, almost bored, and the singer looked visibly shaken. And I realized that most of the audience was simply tired of having performers assume they would applaud simply because they have shared values. They were saying, "you've got to give us good songs as well."
It was, for me, a refreshing turn of events. I can't count the times I've watched a performance where a songwriter or band has knocked out some piece of utter garbage that got enthusiastic applause because it was about getting out of Iraq, a woman's right to choose or raising the minimum wage. Frankly, I'd rather clap for a good song praising Hitler, then a bad song complaining about George Bush. Music should be about music first and foremost, not politics.
A guy that comes to mind in this discussion is Steve Earle. In the mid-90s I was pro-death penalty (I've since changed) and Earle released two songs* that held the contrary position. But they were simply fantastic fucking songs, well structured, delicately phrased and with Earle's classic storytelling. I loved listening to them and never felt infringed upon by their point of view. It's even possible the catchiness of the tunes had something to do with me changing my mind on this issue, though there was a lot more to it than just that.
*The songs were the title song from the movie "Dead Man Walking" and a song with a guys name in the title... "Billy" something or other.
And then Earle lost it. His last three or four albums have been nothing but mediocre music fomenting liberal pablum. Again, the guy could do a concept album based on the life of Karl Marx if he wants, and I'd like it as long as it's backed by good music. But my sense is Earle has gotten so much praise for his progressive values, he no longer feels the need to produce good music. Or perhaps he's simply lost his ear for what good music is. He's gone from being a singer-songwriter with a flair for activism, to being an activist with some middling talent for songwriting.
So last week I thought would finally go see this "Shine A Light" Rolling Stones movie everyone is shitting their pants about. I zipped over to one of my usual movie haunts and it turned out the only theater showing the movie was the IMAX theater. I tend to think IMAX is overrated, but for this particular movie it seemed like a fortunate turn of events. So I tried to buy ticket, and the guy told me the show was canceled because the air conditioner had leaked in the theater. So I asked what else was playing in the next 20 minutes. "Deception" he told me. I was dimly aware of the fact that this was some sort of thriller Ewan McGregor and Hugh Jackman. So I bought a ticket.
Now there are movies you hate, and there are movies you hate two minutes into the film. Deception belongs to the latter category. It starts out with some of the stupidest expository dialogue I've ever heard and then turns into one of most predictable blackmail/caper films ever made. I really wonder what was going through McGregor or Jackman's head when they read the script. Couldn't they tell any association to this film would only damage their careers? Couldn't they see the ending coming a mile off?
I also have to footnote: Saleeby mentioned that Ewan McGregor came down with skin cancer recently. And you can't help but notice a very pronounced mole on his fore head throughout the entirety of the film. Has that always been there? Did Obi-Wan have a mole?
Thursday, May 01, 2008
I know you folks need a smile, and hopefully you'll get one from this article about scientists who were killed by their own inventions! For example...
Midgely wouldn’t live much longer to discover other toxic substances, though – in 1940, he developed polio. The disease left him extremely disabled, but, being the inventor that he was, he developed a system of pulleys and ropes to lift him out of bed. It was this invention – and not the hazardous exposure to lead and CFCs – that killed him. In 1944, he got tangled up in the ropes of his contraption and strangled to death.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Where have I been you ask? Well, on top of some hindering computer problems, I got food poisoning or something yesterday, which wiped me out for day and a half. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at a plate of orange chicken the same way again.
What I find baffling is this new trend of banner ads that make a constant beeping noise, designed to infuriate you. It's even worse when you're on a page with music or video --- like myspace --- and you're trying to listen to something else. That's the kind of thing that if I heard the person who invented these ads was discovered in a suitcase after being horribly tortured, I honestly can't say I'd feel there was anything tragic about the situation.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Not sure if this counts as penis news, but certainly worth noting.
Masturbation may prevent prostate cancer
Frequent masturbation may help men cut their risk of contracting prostate cancer, Australian researchers have found. It is believed that carcinogens may build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly, BBC News reported on Wednesday. The researchers surveyed more than 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer, and 1,250 men who had not. They found that men who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to get cancer. Men who ejaculated more than five times each week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer.
Uhhh, I'll see you guys later. I've got something I have to do.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Just yesterday I was at Trader Joe's frozen meat department looking at a vegetarian barbecue riblet wondering if it tasted anything like a real barbecue riblet. (Which reminded me of my infamous interview with Poison drummer/vegetarian Rikki Rocket when I told him every vegetarian hot dog I tried tasted like smelted tire.) And now I come across William Saletan's fascinating piece on the ethical dilemmas of lab grown meat. He sums up the dizzying conundrum of the topic succinctly:
It won't walk or quack like a duck, so technically, it's not a duck. But if it tastes like duck, chews like duck, and comes from duck, it's duck.
To make it more interesting, contrarian animal rights group PETA is offering a million-dollar prize to anyone who can come up with a commercially viable form of faux chicken. (By commercially viable, I think they mean it can't taste like smelted tire.) This move has inflamed controversy within the animal rights movement and caused dissension within PETA's own ranks.
I'm of course all for lab grown meat if it tastes like the real thing. I'm an undeniable carnivore, but can't deny a certain queasiness with the meat industry, and probably would have serious concerns if I ever watched one of those animal-rights videos on factory farms. Additionally, lab grown meat would probably help mitigate the environmental damage caused by converting rain forests into feeding grounds for animals and the global warming inducing effect of cow farts.
Monday, April 21, 2008
I have to say, I find this new Mariah Carey video endlessly entertaining, almost entirely because of this great nerd actor they have featured. But I really give Mariah (or her producers, or whoever does her thinking for her) credit for taking things in a comedic direction. I imagine that wasn't an easy sell for a lot of people but are really paid off with a very memorable video.
I'm fascinated with her odd sort of sexiness as well. She's fundamentally not all that attractive a woman --- her face is rather canine --- but she manages to work around that by prancing around in a Catholic school girl outfit (among other things.) I actually respect the fact that she's not afraid to embrace this kind of sluttish imagery as opposed to a lot of these pop divas that seem to have some sort of Madonna complex (Madonna is not one of them --- she's also kind of a whore.) With Mariah you actually get a sense that if you ran into her at a pool hall and caught her at the right moment you might actually have a shot at hitting it. And that's gotta sell albums.
I've long made the argument that the rise of free content on the Internet --- MP3s, videos, written content like the stellar writing at acidlogic.com --- is bound to be bad news for industries that depend on sales of such content e.g. the recording industry, the publishing industry, the movie industry etc. Of course if this were true, there's one industry that would be especially hit by free content on the Internet: the porn industry. From what people tell me you can get free porn all over the web, thus negating any need to walk into a seedy porn emporium and purchase DVDs. Well, it looks like this is happening. Peter Bart reports that the porn industry is going soft! (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Get it? Because penises go soft? And penises are in porn... hey, it's not my joke.) I'm a little curious as to where the special effects budget for porn actually goes. I suspect it may be another way of saying "cocaine trough." Nonetheless, porn has always been a cutting-edge industry on the Internet, well ahead of everyone else in technology and marketing trends. I think it's fair to view it as sort of a canary in the coal mine in regards to how the Internet will affect the music industry. (Though in this case, I'd argue porn's massive success has on some level protected it from the negative effects of free content. Tower Records went belly up a couple years ago. Porn emporiums are only now starting to feel the heat. )
Saturday, April 19, 2008
DVD porn is down between 10% and 30%, depending on which nook and cranny of the business you scrutinize. Joy King, executive vice president of Wicked Pictures, and a smart analyst of the business, says the smallest dropoff is in "couples-friendly porn" -- films that embrace something of a storyline. Women account for roughly half of this audience, making their purchases in lingerie boutiques and toy stores (no, not kiddie toys). By contrast, that sector called the "gonzo" side of the business is in serious need of fiscal Viagra. Guys with an appetite for "gonzo" are going unrequited, which may help account for the closing of many DVD emporiums like the Movie Galleries in the Midwest.
But that's not the worst of it... At the same time, other producers are cutting production costs and special effects. Since these films already are made on skimpy budgets of $50,000 to $75,000, these cuts are not welcomed by the porn filmmakers.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
This is weird --- I stumbled across this Ramones video at youtube and happened to notice that all the illustrations are done by Dan Clowes of Eightball and Ghost World fame.
I just burned through Dee Dee Ramone's autobiography, "Lobotomy." It's fairly apparent that Dee Dee was a complete and utter imbecile, but he had a certain charm and I actually enjoyed his (or his ghost writer's) writing style. He really shines a light on how every member of the band was completely dysfunctional and hated everyone else.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Heh, this is kind of interesting --- Why Superman Will Always Suck
Superman sez: all criminals are bad. All lawbreakers deserve punishment. If Superman were in charge of the DEA, roughly 70% of college students across the country would be serving time in prison right now.
Superman has no values of his own, so he's content to just uphold the values of the ruling class; this prevents him from becoming a dangerous vigilante a la Frank Castle, but it also means he has no legitimate opinions of his own where crime is concerned. In Paul Dini's storybook series on DC superheroes, Batman had to deal with gangland violence, Wonder Woman fights terrorism, and Superman tries to end world hunger. This is no accident – Superman is way too morally simplistic to deal with complex things like the "wars" on drugs or terror. In Batman: War on Crime, Bats comes up against a young boy holding a gun on him. Batman, understanding the complexity of crime and the reasons for its existence, talks the kid into dropping the gun and giving up a life of violence.
I don't agree that Superman is quite the plaid character the author makes them out to be, but I've never found Superman particularly engaging either. The sheer volume of his power makes him almost impossible to defeat and his moral absolutism means that he seldom has any sort of crisis of conscience. I'll take Spiderman any day.
That said, the rules of the ruling class that Superman upholds --- truth, justice etc. --- are pretty good rules. And I think the Superman comics of the past 20 years, in which Lex Luther has become some sort of corporate leader, put Superman far more on the side of the stereotypical Marxist underdog which is what the author seems to be looking for.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
It's always interesting to track the paths alternate energy sources take but I never would've predicted this one: home wind power turbines!
“Back in the early days, off-grid electrical generation was pursued mostly by hippies and rednecks, usually in isolated, rural areas,” said Joe Schwartz, editor of Home Power magazine. “Now, it’s a lot more mainstream.”
“The big shift happened in the last three years,” Mr. Schwartz said, because of technology that makes it possible to feed electricity back to the grid, the commercial power system fed by large utilities. “These new systems use the utility for back up power, removing the need for big, expensive battery backup systems.”
Some of the “plug and play” systems can be plugged directly into a circuit in the home electrical panel. Homeowners can use energy from the wind turbine or the power company without taking action.
They're still far from economically feasible apparently, but being enjoyed by early adopters --- and hippies.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Here's an interesting little nugget in the New York Times freakonomics column musing on whether workers at industrial slaughterhouses have a higher propensity towards violent crime. It's the Texas Chainsaw Massacre argument: after you violently slaughter cows and chickens for years it's not much of a step to move your practices up the food chain.
I've long held an idea for a story in my head about a slaughterhouse where the floor workers rebel and run the owner through the plant. He then returns as a gigantic hamburger monster that abducts people in the dead of night.
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